Last One

Lyrics

Intro - spoken, deadpan, beat fades in
Right. So. It's not a problem. The weed. I want to say that first. It's not a problem. It's just that I can't remember the last day I didn't.

[Verse 1 - spoken word, talking not singing]
Eight years. Every night. Not loads. Just one. Well, one, and then the little one after, to finish the bit that's left, so, two. Every night. Eight years
There's a tin. Everyone's got a tin. Mine used to have mints in it, in about two thousand and eighteen
There's a grinder with a dent in it, and a lighter that's not mine, nobody's lighter is theirs, that's the law
And there's a number in my phone, same number for eight years, saved under "Plumber". He's not a plumber. I've never had a plumber
And it's forty a week. Forty. That's the gym, twice. That's the heating on for a month for a man who'd like the heating on
And I'm thirty-one, and I've been "about to give up" since I was twenty-two, and that's a long time to be about to do something
So I've said it out loud. To the sofa. Tonight's the last one. And the sofa didn't say anything, which I'm taking as support

[Chorus - sung, wistful, slightly flat, simple melody]
Last one
I've said that before, but this is the last one
Last one
It's not that I can't stop, it's that I never have, so this is the last one

[Verse 2 - spoken word, a bit quicker, still talking]
Day one. Fine. Bit twitchy. Ate a whole loaf. Went to bed at ten like a grown-up and looked at the ceiling till three
Day two. Didn't sleep. At all. Just lay there having thoughts, actual thoughts, one after the other, like a queue, I'd forgotten they do that
Day three. Had a dream. First one in about nine years. It was about a bus. That's it. A bus. I was so pleased I told Graham
Sweating in the night like I've done something wrong. I haven't done anything wrong. That's the whole point
Day four, Dean's round, and he's rolling, and he doesn't even ask, he just passes it, that's the bit nobody warns you about, the not-asking
And I go "nah". And he looks at me like I've said I'm moving to Australia
And he goes "fair enough" and finishes it himself, and I sit there smelling it, and I'm fine, I'm fine, I've put a cushion on my lap so I've got something to hold

Chorus - sung, wistful, slightly flat
Last one
I've said that before, but this is the last one
Last one
It's not that I can't stop, it's that I never have, so this is the last one

[Bridge - spoken, quiet, just bass and hats]
Friday. Dean's again. And it's just one. To be sociable. That's what I said. "To be sociable"
And now it's Saturday and I'm not being sociable, I'm on the sofa, and the tin's out, and the bit that's left is sat there looking at me
And I'm not even enjoying it, that's the mad thing, I haven't enjoyed it since about two thousand and twenty, I've just been doing it
Like brushing your teeth, if brushing your teeth cost forty quid a week and made you eat a loaf
So. Day one. Again. I know

Verse 3 - spoken word, warmer, tired
Deleted the number. Sat there feeling good about it for a bit. Then remembered I know it off by heart. Eight years, you would
So the tin went in the bin. The outside one. And I stood at the window on the Tuesday and watched the lorry take it, like a little funeral for a tin
Day one. Day two. Day three. Slept on day five. Six hours. Woke up in my own bed not knowing where I was, which is how it's meant to feel, apparently
Dean's stopped passing. He puts it the other side of him now, without looking, like he's hiding a present. I've not said anything. He's not said anything. That's how blokes do kind
And the dreams are back properly now. Rubbish ones. Buses. Meetings. One about the gym. I'll take them. They're mine
Forty quid a week in a jar on the side. Two weeks. Eighty quid. I've counted it about four hundred times

[Chorus - sung, last time, bigger, second voice slightly behind]
Last one
I've said that before, but this is the last one
Last one
It's not that I can't stop, it's that I never have, so this is the last one

[Outro - spoken, beat fading, just the electric piano left]
Day fourteen
Fourteen
That's a record. For me
Don't. I know