My Day is Coming, violin as my soul speaks

Lyrics

[Intro - muffled underwater piano, distant airplane rumble, whispered female vocal]

God...
It's quiet now.
But You know how loud it gets in here.
You know what I carried
Before I had the words to call it pain.

Verse 1 - soft, intimate vocal

I was just a child
With the darkness in my eyes,
Too young to know the difference
Between the truth and all their lies.

I tried to run from ugly things
I never wanted to become.
I built a life with trembling hands
And swore I'd never be like them.

I grew up and took the wheel,
Put my feet upon the ground,
Then the hands I reached to hold me
Were the ones that dragged me down.

I kept on giving pieces
Till there wasn't much to save,
Trying to love the hurt out of them
While I buried mine away.

[Pre-Chorus - faint organ, distant harmonies]

And somewhere in the silence,
When I couldn't trust my mind,
I heard a voice so gentle
Cut straight through the night.

Whispered Prayer

Be patient, My child...
Your day is coming.
Don't let their darkness
Decide what you become.

Chorus - restrained gospel harmonies

My day is coming...
I can hear it in the stillness.
My day is coming...
Even broken, I am healing.

I don't have to bleed
To prove that I have loved.
I don't have to lose myself
To be worthy of Your love.

I gave until I disappeared,
But I'm still standing here.
Oh, God, I'm still standing here.
And my day is coming.

Verse 2 - piano deepens, soulful vocal

I felt the grief of strangers
Like it lived inside my chest,
Carried wounds I couldn't heal
And called that love, I guess.

I saw the pain behind their anger,
Saw the child behind the blame,
So I let them break me over
And over in Your name.

I thought if I could save them,
I might finally save myself,
But I left my own heart starving
While I fed everybody else.

Some who spoke of heaven
Left me standing in the cold,
While the world called holy
What was hurting someone's soul.

I was drowning in their sorrow,
Trying not to make a sound,
Till I couldn't tell the difference
Between compassion and going down.

Pre-Chorus - distant choir emerges

And You said...

You can witness without drowning.
You can love and still say no.
Lay their burdens down, My child;
You were never meant to go
Where every broken soul has fallen
Just to prove your heart is true.
Learn to love the woman
I've been bringing back to You.

Chorus - fuller vocal, gentle choir

My day is coming...
I can hear it in the stillness.
My day is coming...
I'm learning what forgiveness
Doesn't mean.

It doesn't mean I disappear.
It doesn't mean I stay in pain.
It doesn't mean I call it love
When nothing ever changes.

I gave until I disappeared,
But I'm still standing here.
Oh, God, I'm still standing here.
And my day is coming.

[Bridge - music nearly disappears, one voice and piano]

I used to turn the blame inward,
Make myself the one at fault,
Let the miserable feel better
While I carried all the cost.

I'd pick myself up every morning,
Give the world what I could give,
Then go home and fall to pieces
Just to let somebody else live.

What kind of healing is it
If I never let me heal?
What good is all my wisdom
If my own wounds never seal?

So tonight, I lay it down, Lord:
Every face I couldn't save,
Every lie I made my home in,
Every price I never owed to pay.

I'm not asking for a throne.
I'm not asking them to kneel.
I just want to live the life You gave me
And finally know it's real.

[Breakdown - nearly silent, intimate vocal]

I am not the fear that raised me.
I am not the hurt they gave me.
I am not the names they called me.
I am not the role they made me play.

I am still a woman learning
How to love herself today.
Maybe standing up is worship.
Maybe rest is not defeat.
Maybe You have been beside me
In the silence underneath.

[Quiet Refrain - whispered over distant organ]

I can love them from a distance.
I can pray and still say no.
I can leave the door unlocked
Without walking where I shouldn't go.
I can hold the truth with mercy.
I can let the old shame end.
I don't have to break to prove
That I would love them all again.

Soft choir

Lead me gently through the morning.
Let me meet myself with grace.
I can begin again.

[Final Chorus - clear, powerful vocal, warm gospel choir and strings]

My day is coming...
Now I know what You were saying.
My day is coming...
I don't have to keep decaying
Just to prove that I have loved.

I can give without surrendering
The woman I was made of.
I can speak without the hatred.
I can heal without revenge.
I can keep my heart wide open
Without breaking it again.

I gave until I disappeared,
But look, God...
I'm still here.
I'm still here.
I'm still here.
And my day is coming.

[Outro - choir fades, clear piano, one female voice]

God...
Teach me how to stay
When I want to run.
Teach me how to rest
When I think I'm not done.
Teach me to love this woman
Before I try to heal the world.

I spent so long surviving...
Now, Lord...
Teach me how to live.

Final piano chord - silence