sftaid

Lyrics

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Intro – slow, spoken over sparse guitar
Yeah… I don’t wanna do this no more…
Lord, these tears just won’t stop fallin’…
Verse 1
I don’t wanna do this no more, Lord, I swear it’s true
Tears keep fallin’ down inside, drownin’ me right through
Chokin’ on the very air I breathe, emotions got me blue
Bleedin’ in this prison made of darkness, can’t find no way through
Verse 2
My will been muzzled and chained to this addiction I can’t shake
Enemy keeps supplyin’ everything that’s gonna make me break
If I could just break these bars and leave this cell behind
Flee the depravity my tired soul still clings to, losin’ my mind
Chorus
I lost my grip a long time ago, yeah, long time ago
Tricked my mind, threw caution to the wind, now the reaper’s at my door
Played my sin like chess, got me in checkmate, life slippin’ slow
How can I be a true friend to anybody when I can’t even be true to my soul?
Verse 3
Some days I’m drownin’ in self-hate, feelin’ like I was a mistake
Stayin’ high so I can run away from the man I’m ‘bout to make
Runnin’ from someone, and that someone is me, enemy number one
Threat to my own self, scared I’m losin’ more than flesh — losin’ my soul, son
Verse 4
This internal hell I built with my own two hands feels like a cage
Love-hate relationship with myself, and the hate is winnin’ the rage
The more I despise this wicked side, the deeper in the mud I fall
We all standin’ on a razor’s edge, waitin’ for the devil’s call
Chorus
I lost my grip a long time ago, yeah, long time ago
Tricked my mind, threw caution to the wind, now the reaper’s at my door
Played my sin like chess, got me in checkmate, life slippin’ slow
How can I be a true friend to anybody when I can’t even be true to my soul?
Verse 5
Never thought hell would come callin’ till my past reached out its hand
Remindin’ me of every wrong choice simmerin’ in this pot of sand
Light that once burned bright inside me now grown so dim and cold
Choices ‘bout to boil over, extinguish the flame that fed my soul
Verse 6
It’s gettin’ so cold in here, I stare blank as my hope fades away
Watchin’ myself dyin’ inside, standin’ defeated, got nothin’ left to say
Bleedin’ out slow with nobody else to blame but these hands of mine
Less and less of me remainin’, just a shadow of the man I hoped to find
Verse 7
Alone in a valley full of many, yet still so all alone
Shadows stopped bein’ silent, now they moanin’ in my bones
In the silence I scream loud, “Lord, what has happened to me?”
Nothin’ left to hope for but death… unless my hope is placed in Thee
[Bridge – slower, spoken-sung with harmonica]
I’ve been brought down so low… like rowin’ a boat through desert sand
One broken paddle, bones rattlin’ at the thought of dyin’ in my sin
My rebellion turned to poison, runnin’ deep inside my vein
Blind not in my eyes, but blind in vision, lost in all this pain
Verse 8
There was a time I thirsted for sin like it was my sweetest friend
Embraced them invisible chains, thought the taste would never end
Now death lurks behind every shadow on these paths I chose to walk
Waitin’ for an early grave where no more road can be paved, no more talk
Verse 9
Every day I live as a bondservant, sold into this game so deep
When I shave I do it like a blind man, scared of the face I keep
Hide from my own reflection ‘cause I hate the man starin’ back
Afraid of what I’ll see if I catch my own eyes in that crack
Verse 10
I numb myself every way I can and whisper “It’s gonna be alright”
But honestly I lost my mind by givin’ it away one night
Lost inside myself — this my own personal hell so black
Can’t see the wounds but Lord I feel ‘em, memories keep comin’ back
[Final Chorus – bigger, repeat with feeling]
I lost my grip a long time ago… long, long time ago
Trapped inside my personal hell, searchin’ for peace but the well run dry and low
Peace? What peace? There ain’t no peace, can’t find even a piece
Nothin’ left to hope for but dyin’… unless I cry out to You for release
[Outro – slow fade with guitar and harmonica]
It’s gettin’ so cold… so cold…
I’m bleedin’ out… watchin’ myself fade…
Lord, have mercy on this soul…
Have mercy… I’m lost inside…
Lost my grip… long time ago…