past inescapable

Lyrics

(Verse 1)
A sound splits the air and my chest locks up tight
Heart hammering so hard against my ribs I start to resist but i lose the fight
I can't move or speak or do anything at all.
One second I’m here, next second I’m gone—
back in that room, back in the fire, back where I’m just a kid
Their eyes burn into me, hands on my skin,
I’m eight years old, trapped in that hell again.

Sweat soaks through my shirt, knees hit the floor... then that familiar smell...
I’m screaming inside but nobody hears anymore.
The world keeps moving, but I’m frozen in place,
I keep drowning in a memory that still fucks with my faith!

(Verse 2)
I walk through the crowds i can't stand, but I’m not really there
The lights buzz like sirens, the floor tilts in the glare.
Every stranger’s voice drags me under the tide,
I’m smiling at the people while I’m dying inside.
My hands shake i have to speak, throat closes up dry,
I’m here and I’m not—split open, split wide.
The past rips through my ribs like it owns every breath,
I don’t know if I’ll ever crawl out of this death.

(Pause)

(Chorus)
But I stand up anyway, legs shaking like hell
I fight through the vomit, the panic, the smell.
The flashbacks can drag me, they can fuck with my head,
but I’m still breathing—yeah, I’m not fucking dead.
I rise like a wave that’s been beaten and scarred,
I claw my way forward, I don’t fall apart.
The past can reach in, but it won’t keep me down—
I’m the storm now, bitch, and I’m wearing the crown.

(Bass thumping like a heartbeat)

(Verse 3)
I didn’t give up when the nights dragged me under,
when I woke up screaming with my fists full of thunder.
I sat in the dark shaking, covered in sweat,
told the therapist shit I ain’t said to nobody yet.
Flashbacks still hit—hard, ugly, and mean—
but I breathe through the chokehold and I ground myself free
Every scar on my body, every bend in my mind,
is proof that I lived and i fucking thrive
I’m learning to stay when the panic says run,
I’m learning to fight till the war’s finally won.
Yea til the war is finally won! Fuck the past!

(Chorus)
I stand up anyway, legs shaking like hell
I fight through the ache, the anxiety, the swell
The flashbacks can drag me, they can screw with my head,
but I’m still breathing—yeah, I’m not fucking dead.
I rise like a phoenix that’s been beaten and scarred,
I claw my way forward, I don’t fall apart.
The past can reach in, but it won’t keep me down—
I’m the storm now, bitch, and I’m wearing the crown.

(Outro)
So hold on, you broken beautiful mess,
you don’t have to stay trapped in that old fucking stress.
Step by shaky step, you’re still here, you still fight—
you’re enough, you’re alive, and you’re claiming your life.
The weight’s fucking heavy, but you’re stronger than it.
You’re free when you choose it.
You're worth the patience, your worth every bit!

Spoken softly like a speech
Female voice speaking
Music faded away

(End Speech)
Spoken
How can I explain that I can't remember where I put my car keys some days but I can remember 8 years old and every bump on his skin that old man the disgust the confusion I can feel it but I can't feel right now I feel numb sometimes sometimes I love hard sometimes I'm terrified of people sometimes I'm happy sometimes I'm just not here if you haven't been through it you wouldn't understand but we are crazy we are in pain but we fight because we are strong, we endure, we fight to win, and we do. We win everyday we're here, everyday we get up, everyday we are productive, we win everyday we love, we win everyday we don't hurt anyone else. we win ...

We win because we are not fucking victims!!!!
We are the Victors!
we are the overcomes!

hurt people hirt people, they say

but we choose not to be that way..

so we win
Victor's...

so my fellow beautiful mess...
keep winning