fuck the kids

Lyrics

(Beat: Heavy, aggressive, comedic 2000s punk-rap beat. Constant record scratches and a bassline that sounds like an angry heartbeat.)
​(Intro)
Oh, look. The plot fucking thickens.
The neighborhood syndicate actually has names. I finally cracked the code of the hierarchy.
We got the two ringleaders running this absolute circus of developmental delays.
Alliyah and Genna. The masterminds. The godmothers of the cul-de-sac.
And the rest of their little crew? Fucking nobody. Blank, Blank, and Blank.
Just nameless, faceless background extras in a movie about terrible parenting.
Let’s get specific.
​(Verse 1)
Alliyah and Genna, the dynamic duo of pure goddamn annoyance
Leading their troops into battle with an absolute lack of clairvoyance
Alliyah’s out there barking orders like she’s a miniature CEO
While Genna’s scratching her head, putting on a goddamn lice-sharing show
They got their little squad of minions—Blank, Blank, and Blank
Three nameless little parasites whose minds are completely vacant
They stand on the curb like a budget version of a middle-school gang
While Alliyah tells Blank to go throw a rock at my window with a bang.
​Hey Alliyah, quick question: who told you that outfit was a vibe?
You look like a walking fashion disaster from a failed TikTok tribe
And Genna, sweetie, stop rubbing your head against Blank number two
Unless your goal is a localized outbreak of the super-fucking-flu!
They’re spilling the beans and rice, looking right at my Ring door bell
Alliyah’s giving the camera the middle finger like she’s tough as hell
While Genna’s in the background, staring blankly at the sky
And Blank, Blank, and Blank are just wondering how to blink and not die.
​(Chorus)
So fuck Alliyah, fuck Genna, and fuck Blank, Blank, and Blank!
The whole damn operation is a ship that already sank!
And a massive fuck you to the parents, who are completely asleep at the wheel
While their little demons run around trying to figure out how to steal!
I ain't one to pick on children, but these aren't human, they’re a plague
Their vocabulary is limited, their future prospects are real vague
Yeah, fuck these brats, they’re a goddamn menace to the block
The next time Alliyah flips that camera, she’s getting hit with a rock!
​(Verse 2)
Genna’s the lieutenant, but she’s got the brain cells of a moth
I watched her try to eat a piece of chalk mixed with tablecloth cloth
She’s leading Blank, Blank, and Blank into a strategic retreat
Because they saw a stray cat and got terrified in the middle of the street
And Alliyah? Oh, she thinks she’s the queen of the concrete jungle
Every single plan she hatches is a spectacular, monumental bungle
She’s screaming at Blank number three because he dropped his juice box
While Blank number one is trying to have a conversation with some rocks.
​What kind of names are we even dealing with here?
It’s like a horror movie where the victims are real near
You got the ringleaders orchestrating the neighborhood’s demise
And three generic clones with completely empty eyes
They leave their scooters in my driveway, blocking my goddamn car
Alliyah, if I run over your plastic trike, it’s going to a junkyard star
And Genna, stop instructing Blank to dig holes in my fresh sod
Before I call the city inspectors and the wrath of an angry god!
​(Chorus)
So fuck Alliyah, fuck Genna, and fuck Blank, Blank, and Blank!
The whole damn operation is a ship that already sank!
And a massive fuck you to the parents, who are completely asleep at the wheel
While their little demons run around trying to figure out how to steal!
I ain't one to pick on children, but these aren't human, they’re a plague
Their vocabulary is limited, their future prospects are real vague
Yeah, fuck these brats, they’re a goddamn menace to the block
The next time Alliyah flips that camera, she’s getting hit with a rock!
​(Bridge)
(Beat drops out. Just a slow, sarcastic, rhythmic handclap)
Wow. Incredible strategy, Alliyah. Truly a tactical genius.
You told Blank to flip off my camera, while Genna was actively eating a leaf.
Brilliant coordination. I’m sure West Point is scouting you as we speak.
And to Blank, Blank, and Blank... I don't even know which one is which.
You all look like NPCs in a video game that ran out of graphics budget.
Go wash your hair. Seriously. It looks like a bird’s nest mated with a grease trap.
​(Verse 3)
The sarcasm is flowing, but the message is crystal clear
Alliyah and Genna, your reign of terror ends this fucking year
I don't care about your middle fingers, I don't care about your little crew
I’m about to show Blank, Blank, and Blank exactly what I can do
I’m buying the high-powered sprinkler, the one with the motion sensor
To make your little sidewalk meetings a whole lot tenser
You wanna spill rice? You wanna share lice? You wanna act like a clown?
I’m turning the water pressure up and shutting this whole operation down!
​Fuck the parents who spawned this five-headed mythical beast
Who let 'em roam.