Crunch King

Lyrics

Intro
You there—yeah, you with the sandwich!
Put it down.

Verse 1
He came through the break room, orange bag in hand,
A stare like a foreman with a very strange plan.
He lined up the carrots like a courtroom display,
Said, “Everybody’s chewing before you walk away!”

Pre-Chorus
One for the crew, one for the boss,
Crunch on the clock, no time to toss!
He’s got that bag and a one-track mission—
Join the snack revolution!

Chorus
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
That’s the order, that’s the law!
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
Take a bite and hear the crunch!
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
You can dip ’em, you can’t hide!
He’s the king of the produce aisle—
And he’s bringing the whole room inside!

Verse 2
He chased down the janitor, cornered accounting,
“Your daily carrot count is really not amounting!”
He packed one for the bus driver, two for the band,
A carrot in his coat and another in his hand.

Pre-Chorus
No more excuses, no more delay,
He’s got a fresh bunch for your getaway!
He’ll recruit the whole town, block by block—
With a lunchbox full of orange rocks!

Chorus
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
That’s the order, that’s the law!
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
Take a bite and hear the crunch!
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
You can dip ’em, you can’t hide!
He’s the king of the produce aisle—
And he’s bringing the whole room inside!

Bridge
Wait—he’s at the front door!
Wait—he’s got a crate!
He’s handing out the baby ones—
There’s no escaping fate!
Crunch! Crunch! Say it loud!
Orange snacks for every crowd!

Final Chorus
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
That’s the order, that’s the law!
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
Hear the whole room answer back!
EAT THESE FUCKING CARROTS!
One more bunch and then we’re through!
He’s the carrot man, the crunch commander—
And he brought enough for you!

Outro
You got a favorite dip?
He’s already got a list.