County Years. ( Shayne)

Lyrics

Shayne......
GT vibzzzz.....
(Puff puff passss)

(Chorus 1)

Spent my whole damn life behind them county walls (county walls)
18 to 34 answerin’ them calls (collect calls)
Sarasota County took my soul piece by piece (piece by piece)
while the world kept movin’ and I ain’t know peace
Cold steel bunks and them sleepless nights (sleepless)
starin’ at the ceiling wonderin’ if I ruined my life
And every time them gates slammed shut again (slam shut)
felt like I lost another piece of who I am

(Verse 1)

Fresh 18 thinkin’ I knew everything (young fool)
fast money, fast highs, street dreams
Blue lights flashin’, first ride in cuffs (woo woo)
didn’t know then that the cycle get rough
Sarasota County smell like bleach and regret (facts)
every pod full of pain and cigarette breath
First night cold tray sittin’ on my lap (cold meal)
realized freedom ain’t promised back
Started doin’ months like it was nothin’ (nothin’)
in and out so much guards knew my government
Every release I swore “I’m done this time” (this time)
two months later back fightin’ my mind
Puff puff pssssssss (slow drag)
whole life movin’ too damn fast
Didn’t realize while I wasted my years away (wasted ‘em)
my daughters slowly growin’ day by day

(Chorus 2)

Sarasota County stole my twenties whole (whole life)
every bad choice took another toll
While everybody else built families and homes (homes)
I was sittin’ in a cell all alone
Now I look back and the pain hit deep (too deep)
all them nights I barely slept or eat
And I swear them bars still echo in my brain (echo)
even though I’m finally free today

(Verse 2)

County oranges, shower shoes, hard trays (same shit)
same cold mornings every single day
Fight break out over nothin’ but pride (damn)
grown men cryin’ when they family died
I watched addiction destroy so many souls (too many)
watched depression make strong men fold
Some boys came in young and never left the same (never)
system turned pain into rage
Meanwhile I kept numbin’ myself with smoke (puff puff)
tellin’ everybody I was fine as a joke
Truth was I felt trapped in survival mode (survival)
didn’t know how to let the trauma go
Missed birthdays, missed Christmas mornings too (too much)
missed hearin’ “Daddy we proud of you”
And that guilt sit heavier every year (every year)
cause I can’t get back them lost years

(Chorus 3)

18 to 34 gone in a blink (gone fast)
now I sit alone and finally think
How many chances did I throw away? (too many)
how much life disappeared in pain?
But I’m tired of livin’ chained to my past (my past)
tired of movin’ too hard too fast
Maybe all this hurt supposed to teach me growth (maybe)
before this life completely stole my soul

(Verse 3)

Late night lockdown, lights dim low (lights out)
everybody quiet while emotions overflow
I used to stare out that tiny glass pane (tiny window)
wonderin’ if I’d ever truly change
Some nights I’d think about endin’ it all (dark thoughts)
felt like nobody cared if I fall
Then I’d hear my daughters voices in my head (Angie… Alexis…)
and force myself back off the edge
Cause even though I failed ‘em way too much (too much)
they the reason I still fight as such
I remember walkin’ out them gates feelin’ lost (lost)
world moved on while I paid the cost
Friends dead, family distant, life moved quick (too quick)
felt like I ain’t belong in this shit
That’s when it hit me deep in my chest (deep down)
county jail took the best years I had left

(Chorus 4)

County years still livin’ in my veins (still there)
still hear them doors slam in my brain
But I ain’t tryna die the same old man (same man)
I still got time to understand
That my pain don’t gotta be my grave (nah)
and I still got life I can save
So every morning I wake up and fight again (fight again)
tryna become more than where I been
(Verse 4)

Now I’m older and the mirror hit different (different)
see regret mixed with resilience
I can’t erase all the years I lost (can’t erase it)
all them relationships destroyed at a cost
But maybe honesty the first real step (first step)
finally facin’ all the guilt and stress
I wanna teach my kids not to repeat my road (don’t follow me)
don’t let trauma turn your heart cold
Cause county jail ain’t glory, that shit pain (real pain)
just grown men trapped in cycles and shame
And if young Shayne could see me now (young Shayne)
he’d probably break down somehow
Cause all them years I thought I was tough (so tough)
whole time I was just hurt as fuck
Now I’m tryna heal before my time gone (heal up)
and finally learn what side life I belong on (yeah)