Harley kidder

Lyrics

intro:
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...
Gather around for the legendary tale of the absolute myth, the total man-child,
The one, the only... Billy the Bullshitter!
​(Verse 1)
Check it out, Harley, pull up a chair,
Let’s have a little chat about the clown in the square.
Stop listening to your father, turn his volume right down,
The man’s a certified joke, the biggest clown of the town.
Honestly? He’s lucky to have you for a daughter,
While he’s out there gasping for some holy water.
He’s a certified, grade-A piece of absolute shit,
A walking disaster, and it’s time that you quit
Letting him drag you down into his pathetic little ditch.
He’s reckless, he’s dangerous, a real son-of-a-bitch.
​You’re Harley Kidder, stand up on your own two feet,
Don’t let his toxic trash-talk make you admit defeat.
Because Billy? Oh, Billy’s just a fraud on a throne,
A little boy who never quite grew into his own.
​(Chorus)
Oh, Billy the Bullshitter Kidder, what a man!
Living off his mommy’s reputation and a frying pan!
Never had a father, so he mimics what he saw,
A broken down, fake-ass cowboy with a flaw.
Never had time, still doesn’t have the room,
For his own damn daughters, just a lifetime of gloom.
Fuck you, Billy, you’re a snake in the grass,
A dynamic disaster with a glass-shattered past!
​(Verse 2)
Let’s break it down, Harley, look at the facts,
Look at the trail of garbage he leaves in his tracks.
You’re a beautiful girl, got the world in your hands,
Don’t let this expired passport ruin your plans.
Don’t let him get in your head with his twisted little games,
He’s a certified womanizer, drowning in his shames.
Can’t even keep a woman for more than a week,
But he’s always got the nerve and the gall to go speak?
Please. It’s hilarious, really, if it wasn’t so sad,
The absolute audacity of this so-called "dad."
​(Refrain)
Yeah, fuck you, Billy! Let’s say it out loud,
Are you feeling special? Are you feeling proud?
You’re a snake, you’re a roach scurrying in the dark,
A sad little sparkler trying to pass as a spark.
​(Verse 3)
And what’s the best part? Oh, the irony’s rich,
The man acts like a cop, always flipping the switch!
Accusing every woman for the things that they got,
Like he’s the inspector of the whole damn plot.
"Where’d you get that? How’d you pay for your life?"
Bro, worry 'bout your own self, you can’t keep a wife!
Nobody wants you, Billy, let’s be brutally real,
What exactly do you think is your cosmic appeal?
I mean, look in the mirror, what do you have to offer?
An empty wallet and a dusty old coffer?
​You’re old, Billy! Your kidneys are failing on the track,
You’re physically, mentally, morally slack.
You’re hopeless, a joke, a pathetic old man,
Playing females' emotions like an old accordion band.
​(Chorus)
Billy the Bullshitter Kidder, what a ride!
Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
Living off his mommy’s reputation and a lie,
Watching his own reflection slowly wither and die.
Never had time, still doesn’t have the room,
For his own damn daughters, just a lifetime of gloom.
Fuck you, Billy, you’re a snake in the grass,
A dynamic disaster with a glass-shattered past!
​(Bridge)
Aw, poor Billy. The great manipulator.
The master negotiator, the ultimate hater.
Spitting your little lies, thinking you’re slick,
When everybody knows it’s just a cheap magic trick.
You’re the Shit Spitter! The champion of trash!
An emotional parasite looking for a crash!
Harley, look at him. Just look at the state.
Why let a expired coupon dictate your fate?
​(Verse 4)
You can do so much better, don’t copy his style,
Don’t walk in his footsteps for even a mile.
Don’t be like Billy Kidder, the king of the frauds,
Who thinks he’s a giant but is mocked by the gods.
He’s a roach under the fridge when the kitchen light hits,
A desperate old salesman losing his wits.
He’s got nothing to give, nothing to show,
Just a toxic old wind that’s beginning to blow.
​So let him spit his shit until his lungs give out,
Let him scream, let him lie, let him stumble and shout.
You’re the gold in the dirt, he’s just the debris,
You’re a beautiful soul, and you’re meant to be free.
​(Outro)
Yeah, check it out, Harley. The comedy’s done.
Billy the Bullshitter is officially outrun.
An old, failing snake with no venom to bite,
Just a sad little roach fading into the night.
Bye-bye, Billy! Keep spitting that shit!
Harley’s moving on, and you’re throwing a fit!
(Final loud, distorted guitar screech, ending on a mocking laugh)
(Coughing sound) ...Man, someone get that guy a dialysis machine. We out.