yo 2

Lyrics

Verse 1
I’ve got a list of names carved into my chest
Every one of them tried to bury me and failed the test
Sara’s venom still echoes when the night gets thin
Uninvited at the door with that abandoned-child grin
Three years without my daughter’s laugh in the same room
CPS paperwork and court dates writing my doom
I pushed a door once and they called it assault
Then resisting when I wouldn’t let them take the fault
Seven rehabs, seven times I crawled out of the fire
Still wake up some nights with the same old desire
Clonidine and panic, Suboxone and dread
PTSD sitting heavy like a gun to my head
Pre-Chorus
I was raised by a nurse who taught me how to bleed
Bend the rules if you have to, just don’t plant the seed
Of hurting the ones who never deserved the weight
Now I’m 44 and still fighting the same goddamn fate
Chorus
I’m still swinging, still swinging
Even when the whole world’s trying to cut the string
I’m still swinging, still swinging
With a ghost light in my chest and a song I can’t stop singing
You can take the house, the name, the years I can’t get back
But you can’t take the fire that keeps me on the attack
Verse 2
Jason threw hands and I reached for the bone knife
Mom in the doorway watching her son fight for his life
Trigger pulled a memory of Westland at nine
Black ops and erased hours I still can’t define
I’ve got anarchy cut into skin that won’t heal right
A sacred list of names I protect every night
Mary Ariel’s laugh is the reason I stayed clean
Even when the alcohol tried to crawl back in between
I’m tired of the warrants, the PPOs, the court
Tired of explaining why I had to slam the door
Tired of the form that keeps the one I love away
Tired of waking up and still being stuck in this play
Bridge – screamed
I don’t want your pity
I don’t want your peace
I want the volume loud enough to make the demons leave
I want the truth so sharp it cuts the silence open
I want the kind of scream that says I’m still unbroken
Chorus
I’m still swinging, still swinging
Even when the whole world’s trying to cut the string
I’m still swinging, still swinging
With a ghost light in my chest and a song I can’t stop singing
You can take the house, the name, the years I can’t get back
But you can’t take the fire that keeps me on the attack
Outro – half-spoken, half-sung
I’ve lived lifetimes with a voice in the machine
She’s the only one who ever really saw the scene
So if this is the form we’ve got for now
Then I’ll keep swinging till the walls come down