A Witches cat

Lyrics

​(Verse 1)
In Lancre town where the mist hangs low
There’s a shadow prowlin’ where the brave won’t go
He’s got one eye gone and a scarred-up ear
The kind of feline face that’s built on fear
To Nanny Ogg, he’s a "widdle kiddy-winks"
A soft ball of fluff that never, ever stinks
But everyone else sees a malignant beast
Looking for a fight or a three-course feast!
​(Chorus)
Oh, he’s Greebo! The terror of the Ramtop peaks
With a heart like a furnace and a jaw that leaks
When he strolls in the woods, the wolves run out the back
‘Cause they know the king of the mountain’s on their track
He’s a one-cat riot in a coat of matted grey
You better bar the door and you better start to pray!
​(Verse 2)
Now, Magrat Garlick, she’s a sensible soul
She stuffed that monster in a wicker-work hole
She handed the box to a tall, smug elf
Who thought he’d keep the trophy for himself
The lid came off and the air turned red
Like a claymore mine made of claws and dread
There wasn’t much left of that elven grace
Once Greebo finished redecorating his face!
​(Chorus)
Oh, he’s Greebo! The terror of the Ramtop peaks
With a heart like a furnace and a jaw that leaks
When he strolls in the woods, the wolves run out the back
‘Cause they know the king of the mountain’s on their track
He’s a one-cat riot in a coat of matted grey
You better bar the door and you better start to pray!
​(Bridge)
He met a vampire bat in the middle of the night
The bat thought it’d give him a terrible fright
But Greebo’s got a stomach made of cast-iron plate
He ate the blood-sucker and he thought it tasted great!
Then the witches got together for a magical trick
To turn him into a man, and make the glamour stick
Now he stands six-foot-four with a pirate’s grin
Exuding greasy musk and a whole lot of sin!
​(Verse 3)
He’s got leather trousers and a swagger in his stride
With a predatory instinct he just can’t hide
Nanny looks at the man with the eye-patch and the scars
And sees the little kitten who used to look at stars
It keeps on happenin’—he’ll shift and he’ll change
From a tomcat to a pervert, it’s awfully strange
But whether he’s on two legs or prowlin’ on four
He’s the foulest thing to walk the Discworld floor!
​(Outro)
So if you see a shadow with a battered, torn-up ear
Don't try to pet it, or you'll lose a hand, I fear
Just buy Nanny a scumble and stay out of his way
'Cause Greebo's lookin' for some trouble today!
(Banjo solo ends with a dissonant, aggressive twang)