Still-Frame Disclaimer

Lyrics

(Intro: 7.83Hz Schumann pulse / Cyberpunk rain textures/crackling vintage vinyl/Sound bowls)
I took a shadowy walk
through the halls
I once stood,
Reclaiming the lost memories
of my nightmare childhood.
Adults looked the other way
while pushing me
into a synthetic shell
I used to light up the room
now I wear my mask just
a little too well.
Where still-frame worlds
and alternate realities
clouded my sight with visions
and raised my curiosities

(Verse 1: Melancholic close-mic singing/Tape delay/Dark lofi ambiance)
While other little girls would play with dolls in frilly laces,
or stuff their tiny bras,
and cake makeup on
their Fake-Ass Faces

She'd rather write pretty poems
or just dig around in the dirt
even joined the wrestling team
to avoid anymore damn hurt.
She looked for treasures
buried stones in the sand
time loss in a lost land
Holding all the pretty rocks
in her small trembling hands.

When the trauma hit too hard
she escaped to her
safest place,
an encompassing
still-frame vision
appeared as a saving grace

An astral traveling child,
somatic symptoms
and fever-dreams,
Finding the missing pieces
of this melancholic memory.
A wiped-clean crime scene.
She never felt connected
she learned to play alone
Always getting rejected
never knowing what place
to call her home.

(Verse 2: Dark trip-hop beat drops / Low-register singing / Brooding sub-bass)
She grew up too damn fast
and lost her traveler's map,
Her sense of self faded
into a cosmic
black hole trap.

Mentally scraping on by
with her voice suppressed.
As real-life nightmares
became costant
survival tests.

Sifting through the
waves of bullshit
the lack of
parental interest.

No one seemed to noticed
that i was alive
or feeling soulless
didn't let me speak my truth
as a victim or a witness.

Never got asked
what I went through
They all ignored me
when I spoke of his abuse.

The step-daddy monster
even behind bars
he still paralyzed her
She'd lay awake in the night Wondering why she survived
or why her mom let her carry
all the guilt when she
was only five.

My light that once sparkled,
Now broken and dismissed
Forced narratives and feelings
make me so fucking pissed.
Hollow love
and shallow phrases
leaving me lost
in cold, dark mazes

Without a mother model,
to learn from or grow,
She saw her inner child's
shadow start to show.
In her baby girl's
big blue eyes,
Later stripped away
by cruel designs.
Spite and distortion
turned her wild,
they brainwashed
the mind
of her firstborn
over time.
She married a narc
he'd gaslight,
shame and cheat,
pinning all the blame
on her hearts broken beat.
Seven years later
a new light was seeded,
A perfect little boy
when she most needed.

(Pre-Chorus: Heavy neon synth swells / Vocal texture opens up)
The weight was heavy,
An endless hell
She looked in the mirror
at an empty shell,
made a choice in that moment
to walk the fuck away.
Even if death was the price
she had to pay.
She wiped away her
crystalline tears
and prayed.

(Chorus: Soaring melancholic vocal hooks / Rhythmic cyberpunk drive)
I'm a flaming force
to be wreckoned
or fucked with
protecting my son
from all the
impending darkness.
Breaking out of
the barbed-wire cage,
Turning the leaf
on a torn up page.
Awakening myself through
finding the calm in
this bottled up rage.

(Verse 3: Beat breaks away / Pure 963Hz atmospheric texture / Soft vocal echoes)
Endless assaults
games of control
and pinned fault.
Nothing could fix
the void in her soul.
Until her true father's
hug broke the spell,
Lifting her spirit out
from the deepest well.

(Bridge: Brain hemispheres dancing / Wide singing harmonies / Hypnotic tape distortion)
Brain hemispheres dancing
to perfecting my peace,
The generational loop
finds its release.
The girl who hid in
her still-frame dreams,
Now stands as the mama
that her son truly needs.
Even if she's ripped apart
at every damning seam.
A deep warmth where
the winter used to grow,
From her high frequency's
vibrational glow.

(Outro: Shimmering harp / Haunting pitch-bent electric guitar pans and whammys vocalize ear-to-ear)
Opposite of darkness,
opposite of pain.
The cold treatment made
it so hard to love again.
But she found her self,
uncovered the web of lies,
Stopped asking the who,
what, where, when, and whys.

Now repaired by a love
so patient and kind,
Traveling back home
through prismatic light.
Leaving all the air cleared
And not stuck glitching
in fight or flight.

My nightmare childhood
the grown-ups always lied
Stepped out of my shell
into the violet sky,
I finally Stopped asking
the who, what, where, when,
and whys.