Still In My Veins. ( Shayne)

Lyrics

(Chorus 1)

That little broken kid still livin’ in my veins (in my veins)
still hear his quiet cries echo through my brain (my brain)
Every scar I hide still carry his name (still hurtin’)
every tear I drank turned into this pain
Late night shadows dancin’ on the wall again (wall again)
memories hit slow when I’m all alone again
And I swear no matter how far I ran (how far?)
that broken little boy still live inside this man

(Verse 1)

Shayne, slow piano cryin’ softly (softly)
window cracked open while the rain fall on me
I remember bein’ young feelin’ invisible (invisible)
house full of people but somehow miserable
Learned silence before I learned affection (facts)
learned trauma before protection
Now my mind replay old nights on repeat
hear bottles breakin’ while I try to sleep
Still get anxiety when voices get loud (too loud)
cause that little boy still trapped in the crowd
heart racin’, hands shakin’, stomach in knots
all because of things I thought I forgot
And I hate how pain can shape your soul (your soul)
turn warm hearts emotionally cold
But I’m tryna heal instead of hide away
cause I can’t keep livin’ like yesterday

(Chorus 2)

That broken kid still bleedin’ through my thoughts (through my thoughts)
every lesson pain and heartbreak taught
Still scared love gon’ disappear overnight (overnight)
still brace for goodbye even when things right
But somebody finally looked inside my pain (inside me)
held me close while I drowned in the rain
Maybe healing ain’t too far away (maybe)
maybe that little kid gon’ smile someday

(Verse 2)

I done numbed my pain with smoke clouds and liquor (puff puff)
every bad decision made the darkness bigger
County jail nights starin’ at the ceiling fan (damn)
wonderin’ how the hell I became this man
Missed too many moments chasin’ numbness (too many)
hurt too many people from my ugliness
I know my daughters needed someone stable (facts)
instead they got excuses across the table
And that guilt cut deeper than tattoos ever could
cause they deserved a father that was good
not somebody broken tryna fight himself
while slowly destroyin’ his mental health
Still hear “Daddy when you comin’ home?” (when?)
echo in my chest when I’m alone
And every tear they cried because of me
still live somewhere deep inside my dreams

(Chorus 3)

That little broken kid still callin’ my name (my name)
every time depression flood my brain (flood my brain)
Still feel ghosts from the life I lived (ghosts)
all them nights I barely wanted to exist
But now I’m finally tryna break them chains (break ‘em)
finally learnin’ how to deal with pain
And if tomorrow bring another storm (storm)
I’ma keep that little kid warm

(Verse 3)

Then she walked in slow like sunrise light (sunrise)
kissed my forehead told me “you gon’ be alright”
And I ain’t know how to handle somethin’ real (real love)
cause trauma made fake love normal to feel
I kept waitin’ on her to walk away (why?)
kept expectin’ love to fade someday
But she stayed through panic attacks and silence (she stayed)
through every war inside my mind gettin’ violent
Now we slow dancin’ barefoot in the kitchen (slow dance)
talkin’ ‘bout life while the vinyl keep skippin’
She told me “you deserve peace too” (you do)
and I damn near cried hearin’ truth
Cause nobody ever seen beyond my scars (never)
just judged the smoke, the pills, the bars
But she saw that little broken child in me
and loved him gently instead of leavin’

(Chorus 4)

That little broken kid still livin’ in my veins (still there)
but now hope runnin’ through my brain (through my brain)
Still got wounds and memories that ache (ache)
but I finally know my soul ain’t too late
And if I fall, I’ma rise again (rise again)
carry all this hurt without it winnin’
Cause maybe pain ain’t all my life gon’ be (nah)
maybe someday that child inside free

(Verse 4)

I still got dark days I barely survive (barely)
still hear old voices whisper “don’t try”
But I keep wakin’ up and fightin’ through it (fightin’)
cause deep down I know I can’t lose it
I wanna show my kids a better road (better road)
teach ‘em pain don’t gotta steal your soul
Teach ‘em real strength ain’t bein’ numb (facts)
it’s cryin’ and still not givin’ up
And if I could speak to younger me tonight (young Shayne)
I’d hold his shoulders tell him “you alright”
You gon’ survive every sleepless night (you will)
you gon’ someday finally see the light
And even though them scars still remain (still remain)
they don’t gotta control your brain
Cause broken kids can still become whole (become whole)
even after livin’ life this cold (yeah)