why

Lyrics

[Verse 1 - sparse piano, dirty low-end pulse, raspy female vocal with intimate pain]
I’m sittin’ in the glow of a borrowed little truth
Read it a thousand times, still it don’t get through
you've been thrift so much, you were right all along, protect your peace, you're such a good mom
But my hands keep reachin’ for the blade in my mind
I know the words are right, I know the light is there
Still I feed my hunger to the wolves in my prayer
Love too hard, trust too fast, bleed too deep
Bury my own warnings just to help them keep

[Pre-Chorus - tension rising, distorted guitars creeping in, layered harmonies]
And I hate that I can hear it
Every lie before it lands
I can taste the poison in it
Still I take it from your hands

[Chorus - explosive alt-rock hook, heavy drums, crashing guitars, raw rasped belts]
Why do I dive in, dive in
To my own catastrophic deception?
Why do I let it win, let it win
When I know the shape of every weapon?
I betray my own mind, my own spine
Leave all my blood-stained efforts behind
For some mouth full of smoke, some beautiful lie
I know it’s a fire
Still I step inside

[Verse 2 - driving drums, gritty bass, spoken-rap delivery with snarling edge]
I’ve climbed through the dark for the things that I earned
Built a little kingdom from the lessons I learned
Then one pretty disaster with a face like grace
And I hand them the keys to the whole damn place
I say “I’m smarter now,” but I’m softer than steel
When the hurt sounds familiar, it starts feeling real
My compassion turns traitor, my mercy turns blind
And I hand over the map to the wreck of my mind

[Pre-Chorus - bigger harmonies, guitars swelling, voice cracking with emotion]
I can see the exit
I can feel the floor collapse
Every time I swear I’ll leave it
I come crawling running back

[Chorus - full band, anthemic and brutal, backing vocals shouting the last line]
Why do I dive in, dive in
To my own catastrophic deception?
Why do I let it win, let it win
When I know the shape of every weapon?
I betray my own mind, my own spine
Leave all my blood-stained efforts behind
For some mouth full of smoke, some beautiful lie
I know it’s a fire
Still I step inside

[Bridge - stripped back to piano and distant feedback, whispered to raspy crescendo]
Maybe I’m not weak, maybe I’m worn
Maybe I learned to love where love gets torn
Maybe I mistake the wound for a home
And call it destiny when I’m alone
So hear me now, I’m untamed i'll deal with the spell
never stop kissing the mouth of my own personal hell
If I fall, I’ll crawl with my eyes open wide
No more worshipping the wreckage I hide ima take over this ship mutany go run and hide

[Final Chorus - massive guitars, pounding drums, stacked vocals, desperate but defiant]
Why do I dive in, dive in
To my own catastrophic deception? in the coldest darkest deepest waters the ocean is a merciless bitch i know this but she's so fucking prettu
forever she'll always win, fuck me I'm a loser but damn the duration is worth the torture
I’ll never become untethered
I love this obsession
I won’t betray my own heart fuck my mind
things won't ever compare love is the only thing I value
for some motherfucker’s pretty lies every night
I don't care
I know Ill survive
I've been through hell a thousand times nothing compares is worth the pain the foolishness i'll do it again and again cuz fuck everything but love

[Outro - fading distortion, lone vocal, reverb-soaked and haunted]
I know
I know
I know the truth
So why do I still dive in? cuz the spell made me obsessed and I love the pain