The Poppler Song (The Ultimate Poppler Platter)

Lyrics

The Ultimate Poppler Platter (Extended Version)
​(Verse 1: The Classic Intro)
Pop a Poppler in your mouth,
When you come to Fishy Joe's,
What they're made of is a mystery,
Where they come from, no one knows.
You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em,
You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em,
And if you promise not to sue us,
You can shove one up your nose!
​(Verse 2: The Supply Chain)
No one knows their origin, and frankly, no one cares,
As long as we have crates of 'em to keep the shelves from bare.
From the slums of Mars to Neptune’s stars, the craving only grows,
It’s the greatest meat-like substance that a human can enclose!
​(Chorus: The Addiction)
The flavor is intense! A taste you can’t resist,
Better than a bank account or getting purely pissed.
It’s a crunch, it’s a munch, it’s a galactic sensation,
Leading to the heartbeat of a hungry, greedy nation!
​(Verse 3: The Dark Secret)
Some say they’re tiny creatures with a tiny little brain,
But thinking while you’re snacking is a localized eye-strain.
They grow up into monsters—yeah, they’ll eat you in a blink,
So fry ‘em in a bucket 'fore they start to learn to think!
​(Verse 4: The Looming War)
There’s a war a-brewing, sure, some parents might be irate,
When they find out that their offspring ended up upon a plate.
But with a side of honey mustard and a spicy garlic dip,
Who cares if Omicronian ships are coming for the ship?
​(Bridge: The Super-Size Special)
So keep on munching, Fry-guy! Order up a Super-Size,
Get a liter-cola and a mountain of our fries.
Eating sentient lifeforms might sound weird to those who fear,
But it’s just "protein byproduct," so wipe away that tear!
​(Outro: The Sales Pitch)
You can only get 'em here at Joe’s, the taste is really great,
(Also available for pickup... on Omicron Persei 8!)