Control

Lyrics

[Intro - dim lounge piano, brushed snare heartbeat, hushed male vocal with heavy reverb]

Shadows gather on the black keys tonight
A stranger’s breath behind my eyes
I smile at faces I could break in half
Then swallow the thought like bitter ice

[Verse 1 - sparse upright bass, finger-snap percussion, intimate croon with slight crack]

Textbook edges look sharper than knives
A pen could open a throat in a blink
I picture red on the whiteboard, slow-motion drip
Then blink it away before anyone blinks

Coffee steam curls like warning smoke
My hands stay folded, polite, controlled
But somewhere deeper a curtain is torn
And a darker version applauds what it saw

[Pre-Chorus - rising brushed cymbals, low sax swell, vocal tightens]

I never asked for the reel to play
Yet it loops when the room gets loud
I feel the thrill like a guilty chord
Then guilt slams the lid back down

[Chorus - full rhythm section enters, smoky horns, rich male vocal with layered harmonies]

I am not the violence living in my head
I am the chain that keeps the monster fed
I could paint the walls with ordinary things
But I choose the silence every time it sings
It scares me how warm the picture feels
Yet I stay seated, hands on the wheel
I’m terrified of the part that might enjoy
But I’m still the one who refuses to destroy

[Verse 2 - half-time swing, muted trumpet answers, vocal slightly more distant]

A stapler gleams like a tiny guillotine
A window latch could slice the air in two
I watch the class and calculate the fall
Then shake the math until the numbers lose

My laughter lands a half-second late
Someone asks if I’m feeling okay
I nod and lie with a practiced grace
While the film reel burns another frame

[Bridge - stripped to piano and breathy vocal, almost spoken]

I would rather die with these thoughts inside
Than ever let them walk outside my mind
The guilt is heavy but the guilt is proof
That the cage is locked and I still hold the key

[Final Chorus - full band returns, horns swell, vocal more resolute]

I am not the violence living in my head
I am the chain that keeps the monster fed
I could paint the walls with ordinary things
But I choose the silence every time it sings
It scares me how warm the picture feels
Yet I stay seated, hands on the wheel
I’m terrified of the part that might enjoy
But I’m still the one who refuses to destroy

[Outro - piano and distant brushed snare fade, vocal barely above whisper]

I refuse…
I refuse…