Closets & Stars. ( Shayne)

Lyrics

Shayne.....
GT Biscayne boysz.......

(Chorus 1)

I just wanted love, ain’t ask for this pain (this pain)
every loud noise made my heart shake again
Sneakin’ to the bathroom quiet late at night (tiptoe)
cause one wrong sound meant fists and fights
Locked in dark closets askin’ “why me?” (why me?)
felt invisible to every soul around me
Puff puff passsssss… let the smoke drift slow (drift slow)
still tryna heal from that little lost soul

(Verse 1)

10 years old when my father disappeared (gone)
truth is… I ain’t even shed tears
Cause he never really acted like he cared (nah)
felt like I was invisible standin’ there
Mama couldn’t handle all the stress and pain (too much)
so me, my brother and sister got dropped away
“With family friends” they called it back then (family?)
whole time it felt like punishment
Those were some of the hardest years of my life (my life)
cold stares every single night
They took interest in me quick somehow (somehow)
but not the type that make a child feel proud
Every little thing I did became wrong (always wrong)
felt hatred every time they looked too long
And I’d cry myself asleep askin’ God (askin’)
“Why the hell my childhood gotta be this hard?”

(Chorus 2)

Sneakin’ outside underneath the midnight sky (midnight sky)
starin’ at the stars wonderin’ if I survive
Dreamin’ maybe one day life get better (better days)
maybe someday pain don’t last forever
But every morning brought more fear again (fear again)
same cold house, same torment within
And I swear loneliness became my home (my home)
all I wanted was to not feel alone

(Verse 2)

Had to tiptoe when I used the sink at night (quiet down)
cause too much noise meant somebody finna strike
Every footstep had anxiety attached (attached)
every loud breath might trigger an attack
Locked in closets in the pitch-black dark (pitch black)
small kid cryin’ with a broken heart
Wonderin’ what I did to deserve that pain (why me?)
why grown folks treated me with hate
Even my brother and sister joined in sometimes (sometimes)
made jokes while I silently cried
That cut different cause they knew my hurt (they knew)
but trauma had all of us cursed
And I ain’t excusin’ none of what they did (nah)
just know broken homes break little kids
Now them memories still haunt me late at night (late nights)
feel like I’m still trapped inside

(Chorus 3)

14, 15, runnin’ far away (runnin’)
anything to escape them days
Feet hurt walkin’ roads alone at night (alone)
but freedom felt better than another fight
Puff puff passsssss… exhale all the grief (deep breath)
tryna find a lil’ peace underneath
Cause pain made my young soul grow cold (grow cold)
before I even got old

(Verse 3)

14 years old backpack on my shoulder (young runaway)
felt like every mile made my heart colder
Sleepin’ outside starin’ at the moonlight glow (moonlight)
wonderin’ if anybody cared I was gone
I’d sit alone under Florida skies (Florida nights)
stars overhead while tears filled my eyes
Thinkin’ maybe one day I’d feel safe (safe someday)
maybe one day somebody stay
But trauma followed me everywhere I ran (everywhere)
turned a little boy into a damaged man
Started smokin’ young just to calm my brain (puff puff)
anything to numb the pain
Cause abuse leave marks deeper than skin (too deep)
it rewrite the way you think within
Now every relationship I ever touched (every one)
got shadowed by abandonment and distrust

(Chorus 4)

I still hear echoes from them childhood nights (echoes)
still wake up panicked from dreams sometimes
But I survived every closet and scar (every scar)
even when life left me emotionally charred
And now I’m finally learnin’ through the pain (through it all)
that little boy ain’t the one to blame
Cause all he ever wanted from the start (from the start)
was somebody to hold his heart

(Verse 4)

Now I’m older and I finally see clear (see clear)
none of that abuse was deserved there
A child shouldn’t fear usin’ the restroom late (never)
or feel fists waitin’ behind every mistake
I spent years thinkin’ somethin’ wrong with me (wrong with me)
cause nobody showed love honestly
But pain passed down become cycles and chains (chains)
hurt people spread unresolved pain
Still… that little kid alive inside my chest (inside me)
still searchin’ for peace and rest
And maybe that’s why love hit me so deep now (so deep)
cause I know what life without it about
So if another broken soul hear this song tonight (hear this)
know you ain’t alone in this fight
Cause even kids raised in darkness and fear (darkness)
still deserve love while they here (yeah)