I hope both sides of your pillow warm. ( Tony)

Lyrics

Verse 1

I hope you grow the prettiest roses alive (uh-huh)
Neighbors stop and stare every time they drive by (damn)
I hope you bend down proud tryna take a big sniff (smell that)
Then a bee sting your nose make your whole face shift (HAHA)
Right then the neighbor dog squat in your grass (plop)
And stare dead at you while he shittin’ real fast (gross)
I hope you clean it up, step back feelin’ neat (clean)
Then step in another pile with brand new sneaks (damn!)
I hope your whole day smooth like butter on bread (woo)
Then a bird take aim and poop right on your head (splat)
I hope you wave at somebody thinkin’ they waved at you (awkward)
Whole time they was wavin’ at the dude behind you (ouch)

Chorus 1

I hope yo charger only work at one angle (broke)
I hope your fries always miss one in the bag too (damn)
I hope you sneeze right when you take the first sip (ah-choo!)
And drop your whole damn drink all over your fit (HAHA)
Petty? Maybe. Funny? Hell yeah (facts)
I don’t wish evil, just inconvenient stress (uh-huh)
I hope every good thing come with one little twist (twist)
Just enough to make you mad as shit (HAHA)

Verse 2

I hope you have the greatest day of your whole damn life (woo)
Boss say “take tomorrow off,” everything nice (lucky)
Get home smellin’ dinner from the front damn door (mmmm)
Best meal your girl ever cooked before (damn)
You sit down excited, grab the fork real quick (hungry)
Take one bite… whole damn thing spoiled as shit (BLEGH!)
I hope your soda fizz up all over your lap (psshhh)
And your favorite TV show buffer at the climax (NOOO)
I hope every sock fresh out the dryer disappear (where it go?)
Till you got seventeen singles every year (damn)
I hope you finally get comfortable in bed (cozy)
Then gotta pee soon as you rest your head (HAHA)

Chorus 2

I hope your Bluetooth disconnect in the chorus (cut off)
I hope mosquitoes think your blood the purest (bite-bite)
I hope you pull up somewhere thinkin’ you fresh (clean)
Then catch toilet paper stuck under your shoe steps (damn)
I hope your cereal soggy before the first bite (eww)
I hope yo remote only work if you hold it just right (facts)
Not enough to ruin your life forever (nah)
Just enough to piss you off whenever (HAHA)

Verse 3

I hope you finally save enough for a vacation (woo)
Plane delayed twelve hours at the station (damn)
I hope your hotel bed soft as a cloud (nice)
But the people next door way too loud (shut up!)
I hope you tell a joke thinkin’ everybody laughin’ (hehe)
Then realize nobody heard what happened (awkward)
I hope your barber line you up real crisp (fresh)
Then push one side back just a little bit (DAMN!)
I hope your phone survive every drop on the floor (lucky)
Till the one time you can’t afford no more (crack)
I hope you walk in somewhere smellin’ amazing (clean)
Then somebody say “what’s that weird scent?” immediately (HAHA)

Chorus 3

I hope your pancakes cold in the middle (raw)
I hope every pencil you touch break brittle (snap)
I hope your GPS yell “recalculating” late (turn around)
Right after you pass the exit on the interstate (damn)
I hope your ice cream fall the first lick (plop)
I hope your Wi-Fi actin’ slow as shit (buffering)
Tiny little curses follow where you go (petty)
Like the universe trollin’ you for fun, bro (HAHA)

Verse 4

I hope you finally get the courage to text your crush (send it)
And autocorrect make the whole thing nuts (WHAT?)
I hope you walk into a spider web at night (AHH!)
Swingin’ at the air lookin’ ready to fight (LOL)
I hope you finally win a stuffed bear at the fair (yay)
Then leave it on the ride sittin’ right there (damn)
I hope your AC cold all summer long (cool)
Till company come over and suddenly it gone (hot as hell)
I hope both sides of your pillow warm (evil laugh)
And your alarm go off two hours before dawn (BEEP BEEP)
I hope your life mostly good, no real pain (facts)
Just enough dumb stuff to drive you insane (HAHAHA)

Chorus 4

I hope your tacos bust open from the bottom (messy)
I hope every “quick trip” got heavy traffic problems (stuck)
I hope your hoodie strings never match length (uneven)
And every weak sneeze somehow pull a neck strain (ouch)
I hope your karma playful, not cruel (nah)
Just goofy little nonsense makin’ you look like a fool (HAHA)
Petty blessings mixed with tiny disasters (facts)
That’s the type of hate make everybody laugh after (BOOM)