You had your Chance

Lyrics

[Female Intro – spoken, low, almost whispered over sparse boom-bap]
I watched the light leave her eyes one hit at a time…
And I still kept the man she tried to destroy.
Verse 1
Watching these girls trade flesh for a bag
Makes you wonder about life, that’s why I pray
God keep these demons the fuck at bay
They don’t visit, they came here to stay
Designer tags on a broken frame
We see the price tag, never the pain
She used to pray before the money came
Now she fucks for the touch just to drown the shame
Holy temple traded for a temporary name
God gave her a soul, the city only wants the frame
Pre-Chorus
She sold pieces of her spirit just to buy the bag
High heels still carrying the weight she dragged
Chorus / Hook
Looking in the glass, hatred in her eyes
Every compliment sound like whispered lies
Tell herself it don’t hurt that much
But the mirror don’t lie when the makeup comes off
Silence get loud, spirit get soft
Can’t even remember where the innocence was
Verse 2
She used to pass out Bibles in the cold
Write letters to the locked up, try to save souls
Now she sit on a couch with a pipe in her hand
Fifteen hits deep, telling a man to leave again
I knew that version of her… I buried that shit
She killed my son Noah at four months in
Punched herself in the stomach ‘til the blood ran thin
Tried to take Mary at eight, then again at nine
Beat the life out her own body like it wasn’t mine
I don’t hate her no more… I just don’t claim her
Sad for the girl she was, but I don’t save her
Post-Chorus
She chose the bag
She chose the dark
I chose the door
And I never looked back
Verse 3
Now love feel like a transaction to her
Can’t trust a man’s reaction no more
Looking in the mirror she don’t recognize the view
When you trade your flesh, what’s left of you?
I watched the whole fall in real time
From God’s work to the dope line
And I’m still standing, still breathing, still free
Because I finally chose me
Bridge
Some people don’t come back
Some people don’t want to
I stopped waiting at the door
I stopped leaving it unlocked too
Verse 4 – from her (my) perspective
Oh well, bitch… you had your chance
You had the man, you had the years, you had the plans
Now you sit in the dark chasing a high
While I’m the one he comes home to every night
You tried to break him, tried to bury the light
But I got him now… and I keep him right
You can keep the bag, keep the empty bed
I got the real thing moving inside my head
[Verse 5 – graphic, still from my perspective]
If I was standing in front of you right now
I’d pull him close and let you watch how
I’d drop to my knees and take him deep in my throat
Make him grip my hair while I gag on the stroke
I’d bend over and let him fuck me stupid and slow
Then hard and deep ‘til his legs start to go
I’d make him cum so hard it runs down my thighs
Drip on the floor right in front of your eyes
I’d ride him until he can’t even speak
While you sit there knowing you’ll never get this heat
He’d call my name, not yours, when he finishes deep
And I’d look you dead in the face while I keep him
Final Chorus – fuller, colder
Looking in the glass, hatred in her eyes
Every compliment sound like whispered lies
Tell herself it don’t hurt that much
But the mirror don’t lie when the makeup comes off
Silence get loud, spirit get soft
And she can’t even remember who the fuck she was
Outro – female voice, almost soft
He got out.
He’s mine now.
You had your chance.