ty

Lyrics

(Intro)
(Sound of a champagne cork popping, followed by a heavy, golden sigh of pure superiority)
​Listen up, you absolute bottom-feeders of the gene pool.
Yeah, I’m talking to you.
The people currently occupying the space where my greatness should be.
Stop whatever mediocre crap you’re doing—the eating, the breathing, the pretending to be interesting—and pay the fuck attention.
The main character has entered the chat, and frankly, it’s a miracle you’re even allowed to look in my general direction without turning to ash.
It’s Ty. The alpha, the omega, and every damn letter in between.
Try not to choke on your own jealousy; it’s a bad look, and honestly, you look bad enough as it is.
Sit down, shut the hell up, and prepare to be enlightened by the sheer, unadulterated dope-ness of my existence.
Class is in session, and I’m the only one who passed.
​(Beat drops—something incredibly expensive sounding)
​(Verse 1)
Clear the runway, citizens, bow down to the throne
I’ve arrived to remind you that you’re living on loan
Yes, it’s Ty, the main character, the protagonist king
While you’re busy existing, I’m doing everything
My aura is blinding, I’ve got solar-panel skin
I’m basically a deity, where the hell do I even begin?
I don’t walk, I glide, I’m defying gravity’s law
I’m the only thing in nature with absolutely no flaw.
I breathe out oxygen, I exhale pure success
You’re welcome for the inspiration, I know it’s a mess
Watching me function, you’re clearly feeling the drought
Of not being me, which is what life is about.
​(Chorus)
Oh, I’m Ty, the messiah of the mundane
I’m the hurricane of talent, the beautiful brain
I’m so humble it hurts, honestly, it’s a fucking plight
To be this magnificent from morning to night
I’m the reason the sun rises—it wants a damn peek
At the dopest human specimen, the peak of the week
Don’t bother with accolades, I’m already aware
That I’m the only one here who actually deserves air.
​(Verse 2)
I tried to be average, just to fit in the crowd
But I’m naturally louder than a sonic boom, proud
My brain is a supercomputer, liquid-cooled, elite
I’m so dope, even my failures are impossibly sweet
"Oops," I say, and a new industry starts to bloom
I’m the only one with enough charisma to fill up a room
My reflection in the mirror asks for my autograph
It finds me so funny, it can’t stop the laugh
I’m the CEO of "Winning," I’m the chairman of "Cool"
I’m the teacher who’s schooling every shitty teacher in school
My tax return is just a list of my charitable deeds
Of simply existing, planting all of these seeds.
​(Verse 3)
I sat in a chair, and it immediately felt honored
I’m the rarest flavor that has ever been cornered
My IQ is a number that scientists can’t define
It’s basically a heartbeat, it’s a jagged, straight line
I don’t use spellcheck; the dictionary learns from me
I’m the blue-ribbon standard, the living decree
If I were a movie, it would be a ten-hour loop
Of me eating caviar from a gold-plated scoop
Even my silence is profound, it’s a work of art
I’m the beating pulse of the universe’s heart
I’m so dope, I’ve got a fan club in another dimension
And they’re currently petitioning for my life-long fucking pension.
​(Bridge)
Are you struggling to process this level of grace?
I can see the confusion plastered all over your face
It’s okay, it’s a lot—being near a god in the flesh
Watching me keep everything updated and fresh
I’m the grand finale, the last word in the script
The only bottle of wine that hasn’t been sipped
I’m the shortcut to heaven, the fast-track to fame
It must be exhausting, just hearing my damn name.
Wait, keep hearing it. It’s the best sound you’ll get.
You’re welcome for the soundtrack, place your last bet.
​(Verse 4)
I’m allergic to common, I break out in hives
When I see people leading these pedestrian lives
I’m the ultimate blueprint, the factory reset
I’m the best thing you’ve seen, the best you’ll ever get
My laundry folds itself, it’s terrified of my gaze
I’ve mastered the art of "Excellence" in a thousand ways
Even gravity pulls harder when I walk down the street
Trying to get a better look at these designer-level feet
I’m the final answer to the question of "Why?"
The only thing that matters is the greatness of Ty.
​(Outro)
I’m going to retire now, just for a second or two
To let you catch up with the things that I do
Don’t follow me home, I know you’re tempted to track
The dopest legend to ever have a back
Wait—don't look at me, you’ll burn out your retinas.
I’m too much, I’m overkill, I’m the end of the arenas.
Mic drop—but it floats in mid-air because it respects me.
I wink at my own reflection in a window.
I exit stage left into a private jet that I just manifested.
The world stops spinning just to applaud.
Fade to ego.