I Am Listening Now

Lyrics

[Verse 1 - soft indie-pop guitar, airy fiddle, intimate vulnerable vocal]
Dear God, I’m calling through the quiet
With a heart that’s worn so thin
If I’m honest, I am tired
Of the war I’m living in
I keep my sleeves down low
Hide the parts they don’t know
Face in the bathroom glass
And I swear it cuts right back

Too many nights alone
Too many things I hold
Smiling like I’m fine
But I’m barely in the room
So if You can hear me now
When my voice is breaking down
Tell me what to do
When pain keeps pulling through

[Pre-Chorus - building strings, gentle lift, trembling harmony]
I don’t trust my own mind
It keeps telling me lies
Says I’m too far gone
Says I should just disappear
But if You’re still near
Then let me hear You here
Through the noise, through the fear
Through the tears

[Chorus - fuller drums, swelling fiddle, hopeful but aching vocal]
Hold on, hold on
I’m still here, I’m still here
Hold on, hold on
I can make it through the fear
Not broken, not gone
Even when it hurts to breathe
Hold on, hold on
Please don’t let me leave me

Hold on, hold on
If You’re close, then carry me
Hold on, hold on
Be the light I cannot see
Not lost, not alone
Even in the dark of night
Hold on, hold on
Teach my heart to trust Your light

[Verse 2 - soft percussion, tender fiddle lines, reflective and raw]
I don’t like what I see
Every scar feels like me
Hands shake when I get weak
And the dark gets too loud
But there’s a crack in the wall
A thin line after all
One small voice saying
“You don’t have to drown”

So I’m asking You now
In the middle of the storm somehow
What should I do with this pain?
What should I do instead?
If my hands reach for the hurting
If my soul is always searching
Would You meet me in the ache
And lead me home again?

[Pre-Chorus - strings rising, layered vocals, prayerful tension]
I don’t trust my own mind
It keeps telling me lies
Says I’m too far gone
Says I should just disappear
But if You’re still near
Then let me hear You here
Through the noise, through the fear
Through the tears

[Chorus - bigger, warm harmonies, fiddle soaring, cathartic]
Hold on, hold on
I’m still here, I’m still here
Hold on, hold on
I can make it through the fear
Not broken, not gone
Even when it hurts to breathe
Hold on, hold on
Please don’t let me leave me

Hold on, hold on
If You’re close, then carry me
Hold on, hold on
Be the light I cannot see
Not lost, not alone
Even in the dark of night
Hold on, hold on
Teach my heart to trust Your light

[Bridge - stripped piano and fiddle, whispered prayer, intimate and trembling]
In Jesus’ name, please see my daughter
Let her know she is loved
Let her hear the prayers of a mother
And the mercy from above

I hear her tears, I hear her trembling
Now I understand her fears
So change my whole heart, make it tender
Wash away the shame and years
Give her peace and hope and kindness
Confidence to stand and rise
Wisdom, joy, and true friendships
Love that never leaves her side

Let her know her mother loves her
And I’m sorry through and through
If I could gather every broken piece
I would lay them down for You
So please, dear God, if You are listening
Hold her when she cannot stand
Put Your healing in her tomorrow
And lead her gently by the hand

[Final Chorus - full band, soaring fiddle, emotional anthem, worshipful lift]
Hold on, hold on
She is still here, still in Your care
Hold on, hold on
Let her feel You everywhere
Not broken, not gone
Even when it hurts to breathe
Hold on, hold on
Please don’t let her leave her dreams

Hold on, hold on
Wrap Your mercy round her soul
Hold on, hold on
Make the shattered places whole
Not lost, not alone
Let her know she’s safe tonight
Hold on, hold on
Be the hope that carries light

[Outro - fading acoustic guitar, distant fiddle, breathy prayer]
In Jesus Christ’s name, amen
Hold her close until the end
In Jesus Christ’s name, amen
Love