Numb Da Hurt. ( Shayne)

Lyrics

Shayne

(Chorus 1)

Smoke clouds fillin’ up the room again (room again)
tryna numb this pain I keep within (within)
Pills on the dresser, demons in my head (my head)
another long night fightin’ thoughts instead
Puff Puff passssssssss (pass that)
whole world movin’ way too fast
I been drownin’ tryna feel alright (alright)
but the numbness only last one night

(Verse 1)

Shayne , heartbeat racin’ with the bass (too fast)
eyes bloodshot, pain written on my face
Started smokin’ young just to calm my nerves (young kid)
didn’t know addiction leave you cursed
Late nights ridin’ with the windows cracked (skrrt)
thinkin’ ‘bout my past while the smoke blow back
Every pill I took was another escape (escape)
another temporary way to keep myself safe
But temporary peace turn permanent quick (real quick)
when you rely on poison every time you sick
I seen partners overdose right in front my eyes (rest up)
ambulance lights while they mama cried
And that image never really leave your brain (never)
make you question why you still remain
Cause I done cheated death more than once myself (too many)
while slowly destroyin’ my mental health

(Chorus 2)

I was smokin’, drinkin’, runnin’ from the hurt (from the hurt)
thought gettin’ numb would finally make it work
But every high faded into dark again (dark again)
left me alone with my thoughts again
And I can’t lie, I was losin’ me (losin’ me)
turned pain into dependency
Now I’m tryna find another way to cope (another way)
cause I know this road ain’t filled with hope

(Verse 2)

Cold bathroom floor, barely conscious breathin’ (barely)
friends yellin’ “wake up” while my soul keep driftin’
I remember wakin’ up confused and ashamed (damn)
everybody silent, lookin’ at me strange
Doctor said I should’ve probably died that night (shoulda died)
but somehow I survived another fight
That hit different when you already lost people (lost ‘em)
seen too many funerals for young people
Now every blunt hit come with reflection (reflection)
thinkin’ ‘bout the trauma and depression
I wasn’t chasin’ thrills, I was tryna escape pain (facts)
tryna quiet all the chaos in my brain
But pain wait patient underneath the smoke (it waitin’)
soon as the high fade, your heart still broke
And that truth hard when addiction got control (control)
cause numbness got a price on your soul

(Chorus 3)

Smoke in the air while I stare at the rain (rainfall)
wonderin’ if I’ll ever feel okay again
Every scar still livin’ in my chest (deep scars)
every sleepless night still steal my rest
But I know deep down I need more (need more)
than pills scattered on the floor
Cause I’m tired of livin’ halfway gone (halfway gone)
tryna survive while slowly movin’ wrong

(Verse 3)

I missed birthdays stuck inside my addictions (facts)
hurt people around me with my decisions
My daughters deserved somebody present (they did)
not somebody emotionally absent
And that guilt sit heavy on my soul (heavy)
knowin’ drugs took too much control
I used to think gettin’ high made me strong (nah)
whole time I was weak all along
Weak from trauma, weak from unresolved pain (pain)
weak from all them years trapped in shame
But I’m finally realizin’ numb ain’t peace (it ain’t)
it just pause the hurt temporarily
Then it come back stronger than before (way stronger)
kick your mental down onto the floor
And if I keep livin’ how I used to live (used to)
I might not got much life left to give

(Chorus 4)

Puff Puff passssssssss (slow inhale)
another night prayin’ I don’t fail
Another night tryna outrun pain (outrun it)
while darkness echo through my veins
But I’m still breathin’, still fightin’ hard (still here)
even with these emotional scars
And maybe someday I’ll finally heal (finally heal)
without needin’ smoke or pills to feel

(Verse 4)

Now the mirror show a tired man (tired man)
still tryna understand who I am
But I finally know I can’t keep runnin’ away (can’t run)
from every memory and mistake
I gotta face the child still hurt inside (inside)
instead of slowly killin’ him to hide
Cause every high got lower over time (lower)
and every line almost cost my life
Now I’m tryna rebuild what addiction broke (rebuild it)
learn how to breathe without all the smoke
Some days harder than I wanna admit (real hard)
some nights I still feel trapped in it
But if I survived every storm before (before)
maybe I can survive one more
And if tomorrow finally bring me peace (bring peace)
I pray it come naturally... not chemically (yeah)