Why Am I Still Here. ( Shayne)

Lyrics

Shayne

(Chorus 1)

Why the hell did I survive all that pain? (all that pain)
OD nights, blood stains, trauma in my veins (my veins)
Car wrecks, fists flyin’, almost left for dead (left for dead)
when better souls than me gone instead
I still hear them sirens late at night (woo woo)
still see blue lights flashin’ in my mind
And I swear I ask God every year (every year)
why am I still breathin’ here?

(Verse 1)

blunt on the dash, rain hittin’ hard (rainfall)
headlights blur while I’m starin’ at the stars
Bottle in the seat, smoke fillin’ my lungs (puff puff)
young and dumb thinkin’ I was untouchable son
Then the tires slid and the whole world flipped (damn)
glass everywhere, thought that was it
Woke up in the hospital confused I survived (survived?)
doctor said “boy you lucky alive”
But luck don’t feel real when your people gone (gone)
too many names printed on memorial songs
I seen good hearts buried way too young (rest up)
while I kept wakin’ up beneath the sun
That survivor guilt sit heavy on me daily (daily)
sometimes I swear this life hate me
Cause I done cheated death more times than most (too many)
still got nightmares feelin’ like ghosts

(Chorus 2)

Why did I make it through the overdose nights? (why me?)
cold bathroom floors barely holdin’ life
Heartbeat slow while my soul drifted away (drifted)
thought I seen heaven gates that day
But somehow I woke up breathin’ again (again)
still trapped inside this damaged skin
And every time I stare inside the mirror (mirror)
I wonder why I’m still here

(Verse 2)

Bathroom sink, white powder, shaky hands (shaky)
tryna numb pain nobody understand
Puff puff pssssssss (slow drag)
all my trauma movin’ too fast
Everybody around me yellin’ “slow down” (slow down)
whole time I was already mentally drownin’
Then one night my body finally gave in (gave in)
vision blurry while the room start spinnin’
Heard somebody screamin’ “wake his ass up!” (wake up)
cold water splash while my chest locked up
I remember gaspin’ air scared to death (deep breath)
realizin’ I almost took my last breath
And that moment changed somethin’ in me deep (deep down)
made me question why my soul they keep
Cause better people lost they lives to addiction (too many)
while I keep survivin’ my bad decisions

(Chorus 3)

Why’d I survive gettin’ jumped that night? (that night)
50 deep and they beat me till the world went white
Steel-toe boots stompin’ on my face (damn)
thought I’d die in that parking place
But somehow I crawled back up again (stood up)
blood on my shirt, rage in my chest
And every scar still remind me clear (still remind me)
I shouldn’t still be here

(Verse 3)

Party packed wall to wall, loud smoke clouds (packed out)
one wrong word turned the whole place wild
Next thing I know fists comin’ from everywhere (everywhere)
couldn’t even breathe, couldn’t see air
Hit the ground hard, boots to my ribs (damn)
thought “this really how it ends?”
People yellin’, blood spillin’, vision goin’ black (blacked out)
still got flashbacks from that attack
Woke up days later barely standin’ straight (barely)
doctor said “another hit and you was gone that day”
And that haunted me more than I ever say (haunted)
cause I still see flashes replay
Made me colder, made my trust disappear (gone)
made anxiety louder every year
But maybe God kept me alive for a reason (maybe)
even if I still don’t fully believe it

(Chorus 4)

Maybe I survived to tell this pain (tell it)
show broken souls they can heal again
Maybe every scar got purpose somehow (somehow)
even if I’m still confused now
I still got trauma livin’ in my chest (deep pain)
still got nights I barely rest
But if tomorrow finally bring me peace (bring peace)
I pray I finally understand why I breathe

(Verse 4)

Now late nights got me thinkin’ different (different)
every near death left my soul shifted
I ain’t invincible, I finally know (finally know)
life can end fast and cold
So I’m tryna love deeper while I’m here (while I’m here)
tell my people what they need to hear
Tryna be better than the man I was before (before)
instead of numb and emotionally tore
Cause surviving ain’t the same as livin’ life (ain’t the same)
I spent too many years just tryin’ survive
Now I’m searchin’ for peace inside myself (inside me)
instead of slowly destroyin’ mental health
And maybe all them wrecks and close calls too (all that pain)
supposed to teach me what I gotta do
Maybe I’m still here to break these chains (break ‘em)
and turn all this trauma into change (yeah)