it's friday

Lyrics

(Intro - Audio opens with the dramatic, booming voiceover of a movie trailer narrator, complete with intense, cinematic inception-style foghorns. Suddenly, a record scratches violently. A heavy, slow-rolling 90s West Coast G-funk bassline slaps in, accompanied by the loud sound of someone aggressively coughing, followed by a heavy exhale.)
​VOICEOVER (Deep, dramatic voice):
"In a world... where productivity matters... two men face the ultimate career crisis."
​TONI (Panicked, shouting over the music):
"Yo! Yo, man! Wake up! We’re finished! Human Resources just called! They're auditing the department! They know about the supply closet! We are DONE, bro! Fired!"
​MAIN VOICE (Waking up, incredibly groggy and deeply confused):
"Toni... what are you talking about? It's Friday. I'm wearing a bathrobe and one sock. Who is 'Human Resources'?"
​TONI:
"The company, man! They're letting us go!"
​MAIN VOICE (Pauses, sighs heavily):
"Toni... look at me. Look at this living room. We don't work there. We don't work anywhere. We haven’t had a job since Obama’s first term. How are you panicking about a corporate restructuring when your primary source of income is finding loose quarters in the couch cushions? You're ruining the vibe."
​TONI (Blinks, sudden realization):
"Oh... right. My bad. So... we good?"
​MAIN VOICE:
"We are broke, Toni. But we are safe from the corporate ladder. Now pass that lighter."
​Verse 1
Woke up this morning, checked the clock, it’s past eleven
Sun is shining bright, man, I thought that I was in heaven
No alarm clock screaming, no boss to call me a clown
Just rolling out of bed, ready to cruise around town
But then you hit my phone, sounding completely stressed
Talking about some corporate drama, trying to beat your chest
You said we’re in deep trouble, the manager is on a tear
I’m looking at my ceiling fan like, "Homie, I don't care."
​Chorus
How we gonna get fired on our day off?
Tell me how the boss man is gonna lay us off?
Explain to me the logic, cause my mind is spinning round
How we getting terminated when we ain’t even in town?
Yeah, how we get fired when we ain’t even got a job, Toni?
You trippin' on the couch, eating stale macaroni
We ain't got no job, we ain't got no boss to please
Just a pocket full of nothing and a light summer breeze.
​Verse 2
Let’s look at the facts, let’s review the resume
I haven’t clocked a single hour since a year ago last May
My tax forms are blank, my employee ID is zero
But you’re panicked like a sidekick who just lost his hero
You said the CEO called, said our performance is a bust
I’m like, "Man, who is 'our'? There is no 'us'!"
We are professional loungers, masters of the free time
Getting fired from unemployment should be a federal crime.
​Chorus
How we gonna get fired on our day off?
Tell me how the boss man is gonna lay us off?
Explain to me the logic, cause my mind is spinning round
How we getting terminated when we ain’t even in town?
Yeah, how we get fired when we ain’t even got a job, Toni?
You trippin' on the couch, eating stale macaroni
We ain't got no job, we ain't got no boss to please
Just a pocket full of nothing and a light summer breeze.
​Bridge
Look out the window, man, the weather is perfect and prime
And you’re sitting there wasting all this beautiful time
It’s Friday, brother, look at the calendar square
We ain’t got nothing better to do than just sit right there
Forget the fake termination, forget the imaginary supervisor
By the end of the night, we ain’t gonna be any wiser.
​Outro
Come on, homie Toni, stop looking so dismayed
Who cares about a gig where we never would've got paid?
It's Friday, we got the whole weekend to survive
And we ain't got nothing better to do than just feel alive
Come on homie Toni, clear the smoke out your eyes
It's time to get high, yeah, we're going to get high today.
Just let the beat ride out...
No clock-in, no clock-out...
We're officially redundant from doing absolutely nothing.
(Music fades out with a slow, echoing laugh)