The Mother Wound
Lyrics
(Intro: 7.83Hz Schumann pulse / Cyberpunk rain textures/crackling vintage vinyl/Sound bowls)
I took a shadowy walk
through the halls
I once stood,
Reclaiming the lost memories
of my nightmare childhood.
Adults looked the other way
while pushing me
into a synthetic shell
I used to light up the room
now I wear my mask
just a little too well.
Where still-frame worlds
and alternate realities
clouded my sight with visions
and raised my curiosities
(Verse 1: Spoken-word whisper / Tape delay/Dark lofi ambiance)
While the other little girls
played with dolls
in frilly laces,
some stuffing their bras,
or painting on their
fake ass faces
She'd rather write pretty poems
or just dig around in the dirt
even joined the wrestling team
to avoid anymore hurt.
She looked for treasures
buried stones in the sand
time loss in a lost land
Holding all the pretty rocks
in her small trembling hands.
When the trauma hit too hard
she escaped to her safe place,
an encompassing
still-frame vision
appeared as her saving grace
An astral traveling child,
somatic symptoms
and fever-dreams,
Finding the missing pieces
of this melancholic memory
a wiped clean crime scene.
She never felt connected
she learned to play alone
Always getting rejected
never knowing what place
to call her home
(Verse 2: Dark trip-hop beat drops/Brooding analogue sub-bass)
She grew up too damn fast
and lost her traveler's map,
Her sense of self faded
into a cosmic
black hole trap.
Mentally scraping on by
with her voice suppressed,
As real-life nightmares
became costant survival tests.
sifting through the waves
of bullshit
and lack of parental interest.
No one noticed her spiraling
or let her speak her truth
wmon what her little eyes saw,
because adults
ignored the abuse
The step-daddy monster
even behind bars
he still paralyzed her
She'd lay awake in the night Wondering why she survived
or why her mom let her carry
all the guilt
when she was only five.
The spirit that once sparkled,
Now broken and dismissed
Forced hugs and empty love
shallow phrases,
and dark mazes.
Without a mother model
to learn from or grow,
She saw her own
shadow start to show.
In her baby girl's
big blue eyes,
Later stripped away
by cruel design.
Spite and distortion
turned her wild,
They brainwashed the mind
of her first child.
She married a narc
he'd gaslight, shame and cheat,
pinning blame on
her hearts broken beat.
Seven years later
a light was seeded,
A perfect little boy
when she most needed.
(Pre-Chorus: Heavy neon synth swells / Drum snaps tighten)
The weight was heavy,
An endless hell
She looked in the mirror
at an empty shell,
made a choice in that moment
to walk the fuck away
Even if death was the price
she had to pay.
then she wiped her
crystalline tears and prayed.
(Chorus: Brooding, rhythmic cyberpunk drive / Hypnotic neon chords)
I am a flaming force
to be reckoned with
protecting my son
from all the darkness
Breaking out of the
barbed cage,
Turning the leaf
on a torn page.
Awakening myself though
this bottled up rage
(Verse 3: Beat breaks away/
Pure 963Hz atmospheric texture)
Endless assaults
and games of control,
Nothing could fix
the void in her soul.
Until her true father's
hug broke the spell,
Lifting her spirit out
from the deepest well.
(Bridge: Brain hemispheres syncing / Hypnotic tape distortion)
Brain hemispheres dancing
to perfect peace,
The generational loop
finds its release.
The girl who hid in
her still-frame dreams,
Now stands as the mama
that her son truly needs.
Even if she's ripped apart
at every seam,
A deep warmth where
the winter used to grow,
From this frequency's
vibrational glow.
(Outro: Shimmering harp / Haunting pitch-bent guitar pans ear-to-ear)
Opposite of darkness,
opposite of pain,
The cold treatment made
it so hard to love again.
But she found her self,
uncovered the web of lies,
Stopped asking the who,
what, where, when, and whys.
Now repaired by a love
so patient and kind,
Traveling back home
through prismatic light.
Leaving all the air cleared
And not stuck glitching
in fight or flight.
my nightmare childhood
the grown-ups always lied
Stepped out of my shell
into the violet sky,