All American Mess

Lyrics

I learned how to smile from a magazine
Teeth white, say “please,” don’t make a scene
Say I’m lucky just to be 17
But I feel like a fraud in a movie screen
Got a checklist taped to my bedroom wall
Be desirable, but not at all
Too loud, too much, too hard to please
Be everything, but make it look easy
(Pre-Chorus)
I say “I’m fine,” like it’s my job
And I deserve an Oscar
(Chorus)
I’m an all-American mess, dressed up like success
Got my makeup on, but I’m a wreck, I confess
If you look too close, you might see through
And if I were you, I’d hate me too
I got straight A’s in making it seem
Like I’m living somebody else’s dream
Yeah, I say what they want, I do what I’m told
But I’m losing myself in the roles I hold
(Verse 2)
I laugh at jokes that I don’t get
Make friends with people I won’t forget
But they don’t know me, not even close
Just the curated version I post
And I hate how I need every room to approve
Like my worth is a game I could still lose
I play it cool, but it’s all pretend
I’m my own worst critic and my fake best friend
(Pre-Chorus)
I overthink every little thing
Then blame it on being honest
(Chorus)
I’m an all-American mess, dressed up like success
Got my makeup on, but I’m a wreck, I confess
If you look too close, you might see through
And if I were you, I’d hate me too
I got straight A’s in making it seem
Like I’m living somebody else’s dream
Yeah, I say what they want, I do what I’m told
But I’m losing myself in the roles I hold
(Bridge)
Maybe I’d be easier to love
If I just shut up, or wasn’t so much
Or maybe I’m exactly what they made me be
A walking contradiction on a TV screen
(Break)
God, I sound dramatic when I say it out loud
But it’s quieter when I’m in a crowd
(Final Chorus)
I’m an all-American mess, trying my best
To convince myself I’m better than this
But the mirror talks back and it’s kinda cruel
Says “if I were you, I’d hate me too”
Yeah, I play it perfect, I play it safe
But I’m so damn tired of my own face
If being okay is something you choose
Then why do I always have something to lose?