Hair of the dog.... (The Morning-After Medley)

Lyrics

Verse 1
​I woke up this morning with a skull like a snare
Last night was a party, but today’s a nightmare
The whiskey was flowing like a river in flood
Now I’ve got Tequila instead of some blood
In the cold light of day, my brain’s feeling dim
Just waiting for Judgment to take back my sins.
​[Chorus]
​And it seems like the family’s got a council on me
From my father’s "Sure-Fire" to my mother’s "Zen Tea"
The cousins and brothers have their own special ways
Of clearing the fog to get through their days
Every friend, every neighbor, is giving advice
On how to survive the fallout of last night.
​[Verse 2]
​My father looked at me with a glint in his eye
Said, "The Hair of the Dog is the only way to fly!
Have a couple more rounds of whatever you had
It’ll numb out the good and it’ll drown out the bad."
My mother just sighed and she handed me a cup
Said, "Don't look for mercy, you're the one who messed up
But drink this down quickly, it’s roots and it's weeds
It’s got all the goodness a fool like you needs."
​[Chorus]
​Well, it seems like the family’s got a council on me
From my father’s "Sure-Fire" to my mother’s "Zen Tea"
The cousins and brothers have their own special ways
Of clearing the fog to get through their days.
​[Verse 3]
​My brother just laughed, called me "Amateur Hour"
Said, "Pain is the price for your lack of willpower"
But he pulled me aside with a can in his hand
"Drink this Blue-Raspberry—don't tell Dad, understand?"
Then Auntie walked in with a wink and a grin
Saying "Bloody Mary’s the way to begin"
And Cousin Buck swore that a jar of Moonshine
Is the only thing known to keep a man’s vision fine.
​[Bridge]
​(Music slows down, bit of a bluesy feel)
Cousin Amber wants grease, Grandma wants ice
One’s gonna clog me, the other’s not nice
I chewed on a cube and I let out a yell
While Grandma laughed louder than the old Sunday bell.
​[Verse 4]
​It doesn’t much matter what they hand to me
My head’s like a lumberjack felling a tree
It doesn’t much matter what potions I try
I’m ready to curl in a corner and die
So if you’ve got a secret, a trick, or a plea
What are you waiting for? GIVE IT TO ME!
​[Outro]
​(Fading out with a slow drum beat)
Pass the tea...
No, pass the beer...
Actually, just turn the lights off...
And stop shouting...
(Final acoustic guitar strum)