Not who I want to be

Lyrics

I wish I didn’t spend my nights wishing for a different life.
I wish my mind wasn’t consumed in all the what ifs and regrets. So many roads behind me, so many things I wish I could change,
But time won’t turn around for anyone the same. I’ve lived half my life already,There’s no undoing yesterday.I’m still searching through the pieces,Trying to understand what made me this way. I can’t remember being young, My childhood fades into the grey.I thought I came from something good,Maybe some answers slipped away.There are stories I’ll never know,and so many Questions, with no answers left behind. But I know my heart is honest,Even when my world isn’t kind.I work seven days a week just to barely survive,Giving everything I’ve got just to keep this dream alive.I’ve fought demons no one ever knew , I’ve fought through darker days.So tell me when is it gonna be my turn,When does the sunshine find my way? I thought that I had a purpose,
But it’s getting harder to find.
Maybe I’m still becoming
Who i was supposed to be.
I crossed an ocean chasing hope,
Left my family and my friends.
Started over in a new place,
Only to meet the same old end.
I keep wondering if I’m broken,
Or just built differently somehow.
I keep waiting for the light to find me,But i don’t ever see it shine. I’m scared of leaving this world alone,With empty hands and no one home.I just want peace before my name Becomes another memory fading in the rain.
Still I lift my head and ask the heavens up above,
“Is there a place where I belong?
I have been searching for so long
Maybe hope just missed my door.
But until my last breath finds me,
All I can do is pray it comes my way. I wish I didn’t wish for another life. Why can’t chances stop Passing Me By? I wish I didn’t spend so much time, comparing myself to so many others Or wondering what my life would’ve been if I’d chosen something else.
Half my years are in the rearview,
There ain’t no road that leads back home.
You can’t rewrite the chapters,
You can only carry on.
I don’t remember being little,
Just pieces scattered in my mind.
Sometimes I wonder what shaped me,
Or what got lost with all that time.
I thought I was raised the right way,
Maybe that’s still true somehow.
There are answers I won’t ever find,
But I’m still here wishing I knew. I’ve made mistakes,
I’ve walked through nights with many regrets But every scar reminds me
 this is not who I wanted to be, so I keep waiting on tomorrow,
Praying it’ll finally come.
Wondering when life gets easier,
Wondering when my race is run.I thought that I was meant for something more, But that dream keeps slipping by.
Maybe I just missed my moment,
Or maybe iis not meant for me. I left my family far behind me,
Crossed a border for a new life Left the people that all knew me,
Thinking I’d find something more.
But everywhere I go I carry
 The same heart inside my chest.
You can change the town you’re living in,
But you can’t outrun the rest.
I know one day this road will end,
And no one will remember where I’ve been.
.
Holding on to dreams that barely seem possible now .
Maybe luck forgot my name,Cause somewhere underneath this tired soul,
There’s still a fire that I was supposed to find, one that I could just call my own.
If tomorrow’s got a place for me,
I hope it finally shows me, 
‘Cause after everything I’ve lived through…
I’d still choose to believe
 There’s more to this than pain. I wish I wasn’t growing older and the lines I wear on my face didn’t show my time, I’m scared I’ll close my eyes one day
With no one’s hand to hold.
I don’t need a perfect ending,
I just hope before I’m gone,
I get my chance to become who I should have been
I wake up wondering who I am,
Like somewhere I got left behind.
Been searching for my purpose,
But it’s hiding from these tired eyes. I’ve been chasing it for years now, And I don’t know if it’s meant to be found
I feel like I burned out before I ever found my flame.
Like I was meant for something bigger,
But I never found my purpose.
I watch the world keep turning,
While I’m standing in the rain.
How do some hearts find sunshine 
While mine keeps finding pain?
Sometimes I catch myself wishing , I could have had a different life.
 they make it look so easy,
While I’m still learning how to survive.
I wish I didn’t spend my nights wishing, I was somebody else I’ve been looking for my purpose 
For what feels like all my life.
Like I burned out before the fire ever had a flame. Who was I supposed to be?
 Who would I have been……If life had been a little kinder
 To the person I’ve become . Who am I beneath the struggle?
 Who was I before all the hurt?
 Did I slowly lose myself…
Or was I always meant to live the life ive led. So if tomorrow hears this song,
Maybe it’ll finally see…
I’ve spent my whole life asking,
“Who was I supposed to bE?