SELF IMPRISONMENT

Lyrics

I write every one of my songs
And every word of them are true...
From a past of living too fast
To living to see 42
I love to sing...
It's been a dream of mine
All of my life
It helps me with my depression
cheers me up
When I get real down
Keeps me off the streets
For when I feel the need to seek for something to just numb me to sleep...

................................

Depression can take over
and you will never know
Before it's too late
It's one a Doctor cannot save
Nothing treats it
No more interest
Life I just live inside a shell
A self imprisonment of my own made hell.

....................................................................

I try not to think of certain things....
Like why me and my siblings were ever born.....
A mother who stayed bitter at our father who was never home.... And when he was and when they could they showed no love and wanted to be left alone. No family events planned, no vacates, no family wall photo, just a thick homemade leather belt being swung across my face...

cause what looked normal from the outside wasn't at all the same on the inside
Four walls shielded the grief
Wasn't allowed to live a normal kids life....so all I could do is sleep...oh how I wish I was never born oh oh.....oh no.....
Just by look'n at me
You would never know.........

..................................

I can remember
Just about everything
But its unfortunate that there
We're more so of bad days...

And even though, my mother knew no wrong if her ways, cause she probably was raised up that same way.

But when she got sick....
I was just a kid ...
I had to see her rot away....
And on August thirteenth of two thousand and ten
she had a heart attack
and was dying in our kitchen,

Oh.....ohhhhh.....my dad put her life in my hands......

I will never be able to forget that day......
The day it was my mother I saved.

Depression can take over
and you will never know
Before it's too late
It's one a Doctor cannot save
Nothing treats it
No more interest
Life I just live inside a shell
A self imprisonment of my own made hell.

....................................................................

I don't know as of why I can't seem to stay in a committed relationship.....I was married once and said never again .....
Maybe I'm just afraid
Of ending up the same way....
Bitter and full of anger just like.... was my mom....
Or maybe I'm self absorbed like my dad ...
But I know
if they
wouldn't have made
this mistake
I would have been spared
From all of this pain ...oh ...oh.....oh....oh...........................................................................................mmmmm.....mmmmm....mmmmmmmm