The Sins of being alive

Lyrics

Hey, God… I need your hug to carry me through this war I've been in.

I know You are in everything and everyone all around me but I'm losing the battles and feeling weary.

I just…
I don't know where else to go tonight.

I've been fixing little bridges
For the ones who couldn't cross,
Trading pieces of my spirit
Like I never felt the cost.

Every stranger left a lesson,
Every wound became a way
To leave a little light behind me
For somebody's darker day.

But somewhere in the giving,
They treated me badly for knowing my worth, not bc I shown them a cold shoulder but I reacted with the numb sorrow of pain they pushed onto me,...
Started saying I'm sorry
Just for taking up this earth.

And I don't know when it happened,
When my own voice disappeared.
I was busy being shelter
For the ones who lived in fear.

Father, I'm so damn sorry
I made a burden of my breath.
Like the life You placed inside me
Was a debt I owed in death.

I've been praying for the broken,
I've been crying tears not mine,
Trying to keep the world from drowning
While I'm sinking all this time.

If You still can hear me, God,
Through the wreckage, through the scars,
I ain't asking You to save the world…

Just remind me I'm Yours.

I got used to empty doorways,
Got used to no one coming through.
So I learned to hold the pieces
Of the ones who needed glue.

And when my hands got tired,
I went looking for my road.
But the world kept laying stones there
Like I owed it one more load.

They thought I didn't know You.
Thought I'd lost my sense of my soul,
They never saw me in the silence
Trying to find my way back home.

And the years keep moving forward,
There's no bargain with the past.
I keep counting all the moments
I was sure were built to last.

Was I living for the living?
Was I dying to be worthy of Your child?
Did I spend so long being useful
I left my own soul behind?

God, I'm so damn sorry
I made a burden of my breath.
Like the life You placed inside me
Was a debt I owed in death.

I've been praying for the broken,
I've been crying tears not mine,
Trying to keep the world from drowning
While I'm sinking all this time.

If You still can hear me, God,
Through the wreckage, through the scars,
I ain't asking You to save the world…

Just remind me I'm Yours.

I see things I can't unsee now.
Hear the things folks never say.
Watch a good heart turn to stone
Just to make it through the day.

And I ask You, are You watching?
Do You feel what we have done?
How'd we get so good at hurting
What we swore we'd never become?

I don't need another lesson.
I don't need to be made strong.
I'm so tired of being someone's
Reason to keep holding on.

I just want to lay my head down
Like the little child inside
Who believed his dad loved him
And he never had to hide.

Father, I am still Your child,
Even when I lose the light.
Even when the world feels foreign,
Even when I can't make right.

I have given what I could give.
I have carried what I can.
But the heart You put inside me
Wasn't built to save every man.

So if there's a road before me,
If there's time I haven't lost,
Teach me how to walk it freely
Without measuring the cost.

I ain't asking You for answers.
I just need to know I'm Yours.

Hey, Dad…

I'm coming home to myself.

I hope…

I hope that's all right with You.