I Hate Mosquitoes, I Hate Flies

Lyrics

[Verse 1 - bouncy acoustic groove, light percussion, playful frustrated vocals]
It’s ninety-nine in the shade, I’m already losing my mind
Sweat running down my back like I’m late for a finish line
I doused myself in bug spray, I smell like a chemical storm
Still they buzz in like they pay rent, act like my skin is warm

[Pre-Chorus - rising harmony, snare build, comedic exasperation]
I swat left, I swat right, but they circle back for more
Little airborne jerks with a personal grudge I can’t ignore
I’m trying to stay civilized, but I’m one bug bite from a war

[Chorus - big singalong, stompy drums, bright gang vocals]
I hate mosquitoes, I hate flies,
They got no manners, they got no lives
I’m covered head to toe, still they dive on in
Buzzin’ in my ear like, “Let us in, let us in”
I’m hot, I’m sticky, I’m mad as can be
And they keep on comin’ back to bother me
Mosquitoes and flies, you can take a hike
I’m done being dinner tonight

[Verse 2 - fuller band, groovier bassline, sarcastic delivery]
I waved a towel like a girl possessed, looked wild in the front yard
My neighbor saw me fighting air and probably thinks I’m bizarre
They land on my elbow, then they land on my knee
Like, “Nice to meet you, human buffet, thanks for the hospitality”

[Pre-Chorus - tighter harmonies, playful buildup]
Every window shut, every fan on blast
Still they find a way to make a good day go bad fast
I’m one mosquito away from moving to the moon at last

[Chorus - bigger, louder, chant-style backing vocals]
I hate mosquitoes, I hate flies,
They got no manners, they got no lives
I’m covered head to toe, still they dive on in
Buzzin’ in my ear like, “Let us in, let us in”
I’m hot, I’m sticky, I’m mad as can be
And they keep on comin’ back to bother me
Mosquitoes and flies, you can take a hike
I’m done being dinner tonight

[Bridge - stripped-down half-time groove, funny spoken-sung delivery]
If you want my blood, get a job
If you want my sweat, go bother a mop
I’m too overheated for this tiny-winged crime
Back up, buzz off, read the room this time

[Final Chorus - full band, triumphant and ridiculous, crowd vocals]
I hate mosquitoes, I hate flies,
They got no shame, they got those lies
“Just one little sip,” no, not from me
You can buzz somewhere else, let me be
I’m hot, I’m sticky, I’m ready to scream
In this summer heat nightmare, you’re the worst I’ve seen
Mosquitoes and flies, go find a new life
I’m swatting my way through tonight

[Outro - fading, playful ad-libs, light instrumental tag]
Buzz buzz, no thanks
Zzzzt—get lost
I’m sweating enough already