I'm going to miss you

Lyrics

..... I stare at the end of the oceannn.... wondering where your last breath will be found there..i can't stop thinking of when I will be in my room staring at my roof missing you with every heart I have left it's so heavy to the point where I can't think anymore straight without you being in my head I know nothing hasss reallyyy happened yet but it's tearing me apart inside so I go back to the ocean where we always hhhad our Gooid timess where we never used to thinkk about anything but wondering how llllong grade eight wellll take to be over but now all I think is when you'll be dead and over and gone and I'll have nothing to think about I will fully fall apart like I already was before I can't lose another person but I guess I don't have a choice anymore I loved it when the only thing we thought about was when we could keep the hell out of school but now I can barely breathe then I think of you I remember the days where we saw in the back of the class talking about anywhere else but here I remember every last time we had together I don't want any of it to end but I know there's nothing I can do anymore so I try to spend every last breath with you but I know it's not going to last forever and I know I will never get out of the deep and I'll be in after you're gone so I say all of the good times we had times we went to the mall walked around for no reason anyway we didn't have a damn Penny and our wallets I honestly don't care as long as we spend time together after that we would go straight to the beach sit on the sand burning our feet and hands but it was so fun because we were together it never really mattered I don't want to lose my best friend and I wish I could just stay with you forever but I know there's no taking or wondering why this is even happening anymore please I just want to be with you I don't want to spend another day without you cuz if you were on that death bed if I had a chance to trade with you I trade it with my life I don't care because life is not living without my best friend so every night I stay up just waiting for that call I don't want to receive damn I wish you would just let me take it all away but you'll never let me I don't care if you hate me I'll try everyday taking it all away but you never will let me so I'm sitting in my room looking at a photos together on my phone wondering if there's anything I can do to help you and you only but if you don't let me help then there's nothing I can do but wait I don't want to wait anymore so I don't care I'm taking it all away you can't fight me on this I don't care anymore you don't get your choice to live or die cuz I'm taking the death I need you to live for me because my life wouldn't be one without you you save me from the sickness in my brain I can't have you die from anything else I owe it to you as your best friend to save your life I don't care what you say I love you and there's nothing you can do about that I don't care if you push me away now that you're sick I don't care anymore I just want you to live a sacrifice every damn thing I have in my life I just want you to live for me whenever I take that bus home screwing on my phone listening to music and looking at our pictures together it's a thing I cannot control anymore I look at it at all the time and wonder how long it'll take for you to pass away but I can't have that happen to you know you're my best friend none of this is happening come on I tell myself I'm fine but I know I'm really not I lied to myself just to protect you cuz I can't have you break again can I have you die in a f****** hospital bed it's not what I want for you we're supposed to die together we're opposed to die together on the death pets not just you damn it this isn't fair nothing ever happens to me that's ever good we're supposed to grow up together get our first jobs move in together but that's not going to happen anymore I know it's not damn it just kill me now who gives a f*** anymore don't care if I die right now all I care about is if I'm dead with you I don't care when it happens just as long as I'm with you why don't give a damn anymore My heart keeps resting I can't do anything anymore without thinking of you so I sit up every night it being the only thing I can think of my heart pounding out of my chest I can barely breathe when I think of you when I see the death that you're going to be I can't see you Dad this is not the end of the world but I'm going to die if you die I don't give a damn my heart is racing I don't care if you die right now I kill myself who gives a f*** anyway if I cut my throat bleeding as long as I'm with you everything will be fine we got to stick together it's our only way yeah come on please don't leave me behind like everyone else in my town life please I'm begging on the floor don't die without me tell me when it's going to be I don't really give a damn I don't care if I get to where I just tell me when it's going to happen I need to see you before you die